Deeper problems

Lately, I’ve started to become a crazed fan of the TV show House M.D. On each episode, Dr. House and his team of surgeons treat patients who are inflicted with some disease or ailment (rest assured, I won’t be able to pronounce it).

Each case follows the same premise: the surgeons start off by identifying each of the symptoms that the patient exhibits. From there, they toss around possible diagnoses about the patient's condition. Eventually, they run tests, analyze their findings, and narrow their diagnoses down to just one. Incidentally, it never seems to be the real issue. There always seems to be something deeper that was missed; something that hasn't been accounted for.

So the doctors are forced to delve a little further to get at the source of the problem. They run even more tests, they probe even deeper, perform medical inquiries on the patient's parents, siblings, environments, homes, etc. They investigate everything they can to make sure that they get it right.

I think that this show's premise can easily juxtapose our lives and how we respond to sin. If you think about it, the biggest reason why folks can't seem to be "cured" from their sins is because we don't deal with the deep issues. We only focus on the things that are right in our face; the things on the surface. Sure that guy is mean. But have you ever asked why he's like that? Sure that woman is an alchoholic. But have you ever asked why she's like that? Sure that young person is disrespectful, full of attitude, and sexually promiscuous. But have you ever asked why (s)he was like that?

The sad truth is: We respond to sins (both ours and others) like House and the other doctors deal with their patients. We examine the problems that a person has, lists the possible diagnoses, and then we give them the type of treatment that we think they need. What we don't seem to understand is that we're not fixing the problem; we're only warding it off. The sin is not defeated. The person is not cured.

I suspect that most people are only willing to confront the things that appear on the outside; while being completely unwilling to attack the issues that are buried deep inside. We look at the symptoms that are external; the actions, the words, the expressions. But how often do we search deeply to discover the internal symptoms? How often to we examine the deeply internal, indelible existent of sin?

Given all the "sick" people of the world, I suspect not very often.

I think that we don't dig as deeply as we should becuase we're scared. We're scared of what we'll find. We're scared of being exposed as being sick ourselves. We're scared of releasing whatever it is that causes us to sin in the first place. We're scared of change. To be honest, I really can't tell for sure why we don't explore the deeper recesses of ourselves. But I do know that we don't.

But, the fact remains: if we expect to be cured, we must be willing to go into the deep, dark abyss that is our soul and to fight whatever monsters we find there. Otherwise we really haven't built up an immune system strong enough to fight our sicknesses. The same sins will keep manifesting themselves in us. We'll never find healing.

I don't know about you, but I don't wanna be a frequent guest star on House for more than one episode...

- ACL

Choose your own adventure

I was watching an interesting sermon from Joyce Meyers the other day talking about how Jesus made all the right choices while He was here on Earth. I wanted to blog about that earlier but, as some of you can tell, my mind has been directed elsewhere lately. But now that the family incident in question is behind me, I'd like to get back on track (Thanks endlessly to EACH OF YOU for your comments and prayers. They mean a lot!)

Getting back to the point at hand, for this particular post I thought that I'd take some of the more difficult choices that Jesus had to make and put them into a choose your adventure book. Here's how I imagine it would look...

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Page 1:

Imagine your life. You weren't born into the wealthiest family. Your friends aren't exactly the most the highly renowned people in the society. Your job doesn't pay you six figures and gives you a car, a laptop, and an expense account. You've got people out there who hate you for no vaild reason; other than their own insecurities. Nevertheless, God has given you a specific job to do. Do you accept it? If yes, continue to page 2. If no no, go to page 8.

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Page 2:

Now that you've accepted the terms and conditions of God's job for you:

• Imagine being left alone in the middle of the dark, while your friends went to sleep on you.
• Imagine the feeling of being kissed by the very person who is betraying you.
• Imagine hearing the piercing calls of a rooster; a sound that you didn’t want to hear because it symbolizes that fact that your closest companion just denied knowing you THREE times; even when he promised to NEVER do it once.
• Imagine the feeling of knowing that you’re about to receive a punishment that doesn’t, by any stretch, fit the crime.

Are you ready to call it quits and give up on God? If yes, go to page 8. If no continue to page 3.

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Page 3:

Since you've chosen not to give up on God, here comes the real test:

• Imagine the excruciating feeling of bone chips, sharp pebbles, and punishing leather whipping across your back and tearing your flesh.
• Imagine the metallic taste of blood in your mouth.
• Imagine an undersized crown made of prickly thorns being crammed on your head.

Do you give up yet? If yes, go to page 8. If no continue to page 4.

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Page 4:

So, the disgusting taste of your own blood didn't convince you to give it a rest, huh? Well, here comes the good stuff. Don't say you weren't warned:

• Imagine the burden of carrying a heavy, splintered cross through an entire town; all while still being beaten.
• Imagine how hot the dirty, stoned streets are under your feet.
• Imagine the feeling of the sun beaming down on your mutilated body.

Still not willing to tell God to kick rocks? If yes, go to page 8. If no continue to page 5.

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Page 5:

If you've gotten this far, I suspect you still haven't learned your lesson yet. Sigh! Oh well...

• Imagine the numbing pain of sharp nails penetrating your flesh.
• Imagine the sounds of people mocking you, cheering against you, or challenging you to save yourself.
• Imagine watching your mother cry out for you.
• Imagine the crushing blows that your heart takes for each painful breath you draw.
• Imagine the horrid and pungent taste of vinegar as a thirst quencher.
• Imagine the sharp pain of being stabbed in your side.

So, at this point you still haven’t thrown in the towel, but you’re getting close. Death is getting closer and closer by the second. But you still have the chance to get out of this before it's too late. Do you? If yes, go to page 8. If no continue to page 6.

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Page 6:

After everything that you've been through, you finally give in, let out one last cry, and breathe your last breath. Your friends, family, and even your enemies know that this is the end. But is it? Go to page 7

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Page 7:

Though you're offiically dead, a few strange things will happen:

• Someday, the stone that seals your death will be rolled away.
• God will raise you from the darkest, loneliest, and most painful parts of your life.
• You will resurrect from the world’s evil and appear to the world unscathed.
• You will one day have a seat next to God on His throne.
• All of those whom you love and adore will have finally have the chance to be freed from the eternal punishment that comes with sin.

CONCLUSION

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Page 8:

At some point in this story, you decided to turn away from God's will and avoid the pain and suffering that He required of you. As a result, no blood has been shed for the remission of sin. The curse of sin and death has not been removed. Millions of lamb will have to be slaughtered for man's atonement. Yet the people whom you love will forever remain prisoners of sin. But, it's not as bad as it sounds, right? At least Satan's happy!

CONCLUSION

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© Inside Andre's Head, Publishing. All rights reserved.

- ACL

Inside Andre's Family

Something funny just occured to me. My blog is officially one year old this week (Happy Birthday "Inside Andre's head" !!!). All this time I've ranted, commented, and pontificated on everything from war, to stupid presidents, to how much I love and hate my (former) church, to institutional racism, to my on again, off again relationships with friends (also here, and here, and here...). But, oddly, I really didn't throw in any plugs for the family. That being said, I'd to introduce you all the Fam. Since most of them have own webpages, anonymity is not all that big for them...

(1) Robin:

Brief description: If I had to pick out my absolute best friend on the planet, Robin would be it. Although Robin is the youngest of the girls in my family, she's still a year and a half my senior. Incidentally, we didn't really start to become close until high school. Being one of the popular kids, she was able to use her influence to assimilate me into our school's culture. I think that it was largely because of that, I was able to build some of the sociability that I have today (which still isn't much, but it was a lot more than what I once had!)

As we matured in age (being 27 = really mature!), so too did our relationship. So much so that -- even as we dealt with difficult times and sour relationships in our lives, we could always rely on each other for support (without judgment), unbiased feedback, good intentions, and love.

I think that what's most interesting about Robin is her multiple dimension. Don't be fooled by the pretty-girl appearance (at least I think she's super model material). She's one of the most brilliant minds around (she's got two degrees and a few different certifications) and is one of the funniest people on the planet. Just to add to her resume, Robin is also one of the most daring and adventureous people I know. She's been living on her own, in various parts of country; since high school, can get a new job at the drop of hat (so much for a "bad economy") and has traveled all over the place.

Favorite past times with Robin: Watching Cops, making fun of D. West, his strange "motivational" techniques, and his tight ass sweater vests, laughing at our disfunctional extended family, hearing her insane and off the wall stories (usually about how some nutcase is trying to hit on her) and ranting about stupid people.

Favorite memory of Robin: Hmmm. I'd have to say just recently when I visited her new spot in Miami. All I can say is: Day-yum! Must be nice...

(2) Tamika:

Brief description: As I've always maintained, Tamika is my role model. Anything that I've ever strived for or accomplished was motivated by something that Tamika had already done. Even as long ago as elementary school, Tamika has always made strides toward excellence.

What's interesting about her is she spent a large portion of her life as a student athlete. Prior to watching her grow and develop, I always thought the term "student athlete" was an oxymoron (sort of like Hippie Conservative. But I digress...). But, as she excelled in sports, while graduating with high distinction from high school, college, and graduate school, she quickly dispelled that stereotype.

I think that Tamika often gets a bad rap as being rebellious and indifferent toward many things. Perhaps some of that has rubbed off on me (Talk about stating the obvious). But, that reputation aside, when it comes to things for which she has a passion, nobody is as energetic and determined as Tamika. Her disposition quickly turns that rebellion and indifference into independence and strong will. She's a fighter, spunky as all outdoors, and willing to take on just about any challenges that pop up in her life...and ours. Like Robin, Tamika is adventurous and always willing to take risks. Living in and traveling to multiple places is further evidence that Tamika is always on the go and always keeping active. Strange behavior for a narcoleptic (inside joke...)

Favorite past times with Tamika: Text messaging each other. We probably spend more time typing messages to each other with our phones than we do physically speaking to one another; complaining about Momma, hearing about how much she hates her job, and watching her coach basketball teams.

Favorite memory of Tamika: I'd have to say that watching her march during her commencement as she received her Master's degree. That memory sustains me every time I get flustered with being in grad school myself.

(3) Kim:
Brief description: Ah! Kimberly, Kimberly, Kimberly. As the oldest sibling, Kim has always assumed a sort of authoritative role; matched with a pretty level head, a positive disposition, and a voice of reason. Similarly to my other sisters, Kim was the active, always-on-the-go type. She lived a pretty fast paced life in Atlanta at a time when progressive shifts in the south were first starting to peak for African-Americans. The South was starting to rise again (I mean that in an anti-Confederate, non-racist sort of way), and she was right in the middle of it all. But, as she grew older and a little more conservative, she accepted a different role as a family women. In so doing, she slowed herself down to meet those demands. Changing and adjusting lifestyles -- to me -- is one of the strongest indications of her character.

Also, Kim is probably one of the more spiritual people in our family. She has a pretty insatiable hunger for learning God's word and for applying it to all aspects of her life. She's a pretty emotionally charged person (sometimes to her detriment), but can pretty reasonably balance that out with logic and common sense.

Favorite past times with Kim: Exchanging recipes (I gotta give it up. Kim is one of the best cooks around. She introduced to the better side of asparagus), listening to her try to convince me about how great Cincinnati is, and having our Biblical/spiritual discussions (if you recall reading comments from Kim aka "Big Sis", she's one in the same).

Favorite memory of Kim: Helping her move into her first college dorm. Watching Kim be the first one in my immediate family (and one of the first in my extended family) to go to college, I was injected with desire to be a college man myself. The rest, as they say, is history...

(4) Donte:
Brief description: Let me just say that this is the first and only time that I will ever use the name "Donte". From here on out, the correct name is "Toe Joe".

Toe Joe is the "baby" in the family which, by rule, gives him a sort of entitlement. He got his nickname from being a fat baby with narrow and slanted eyes (similar to a sumo wrestler with the same name). Though he grew out that and transformed into a pretty boy, cassanova-type, the name sorta stuck.

Toe Joe is not particularly emotional or expressive (at least not in public view). But, he is pretty personable and incredibly socialable. He was always been popular (especially with the girls) and never really had an enemy to speak of. I suspect that it has more to do with his laid back demeanor, his humor, and his wit than anything else. Toe Joe is one of the types of people that you can get pretty upset with, but never really hate. Truth be told, Toe Joe and I really couldn't stand each other when we were both living together at home. But once we both moved out on our own, we started to get pretty close.

Maybe it was a bit of a foreshadow, but Toe Joe; being the baby of the family; was the first (and so far, the only) child in our family to produce a baby himself. You remember him, right? Ever since Landon ventured over to this side, Toe Joe's outlook has changed. He's a lot more open and expressive (especially when it comes to Landon), and a lot more responsible. But, even with everything going on, Toe Joe is still Toe Joe.

Favorite past times with Toe Joe: Blasting him for flaking me when I visited (I was in Florida for four days and saw him for about three hours. To this day, he claims that he was "busy"), Feuding between his San Francisco 49ers and my Dallas Cowboys, counting the number of shoes he has, having three-way conversations with Robin where we talk about our dysfunction extended family.

Favorite memory of Toe-Joe: Hating him for being so spoiled as child. Momma and Daddy used to let him get away with murder...the little brat. One time, he went crying to my dad telling him that our cousin threw him out the window. Just to appease him, my dad yelled at the poor cousin! Sigh! That was the story growing up...

(5) The parents:

Dad:

Brief discussion: It's no accident that I don't have a picture of my old man. That just goes to show that I really don't have a whole lot to share about my dad. I assure you: It's not from a lack of knowing him. He's just not very dimensional. He doesn't really have much of a personality, he keeps mainly to himself, and he's one of the most introverted people I know (with us, anyway). I suspect that I get that from him. This isn't to say that my dad is completely indifferent to everything that goes on around him. In his life, he's dealt with a divorce, the loss of three brothers, his father, and his stepmother. While he was obviously pretty emotional about those things, he's emerged from those events unscathed.

To make up for not being very open and parentally affectionate, my old man compensated by being a strong provider for the family. He'd make sure that we were taken really good care of; along with other people in our family, our friends, or whoever just happened to be in the room at the time. Even to this day, he still tries to pass out money like Jehovah's Witnesses pass out Watch Towers. So, if anybody needs some money let me know.

Interestingly, though, ever since he and my mother divorced, he has a different outlook on things. He's been more open with us, jokes more, and doesn't shield his emotions as much. Growing up as a kid, we'd be luck to get him to crack a smile, much less to be completely open about things. But I guess that having some changes occur in his life and dealing with the self actualization that comes with getting older, has caused him to reevaluate certain things in his life. Who knows for sure?

Favorite past times with my dad: Going to wrestling events as kids, coming up with schemes (with Toe Joe) to secretly throw away the hideously disgusting egg omelettes he used to make for breakfast, personally delivering our lunch (and sometimes lunch for our friends) at school. Teaching each of us to drive at least one year before driver's education.

Favorite memory of my dad: The first time he looked me in the eye and apologized for the wrong he caused in our family. To this day, that stands as the most significant thing he's every said to me.

Momma:
Brief description: Similar to the soap operas that she loves to watch, my mom is an emotional roller coaster. One day I love her to death; the next day I want to strangle her; and then I go back to loving her the day after that.

For starters, my mom is the perfect family figure. She has an unmatched love for kids (you can imagine that she's been on cloud nine with Landon), was a loving and devoted wife for years (I still say that she got the short end of the stick with her former marriage), and took pride in doing the laborous domestic work. Affectionately nicknamed "Cookie", her cooking skills, for example, set her apart from the pack.

Being a housewife never really lended Momma to developing herself outside of the home. She never really had what you call a career, only had a brief stint with college, and never really did much socializing and traveling outside of church (in her defense, though, some of that had to do with my old man being so introverted). I think that's always hung heavy on her; especially since some of her older sisters were just the opposite (had careers, traveled, and were more sociable). But after her divorce, she became a lot more active, social, and outgoing; sometimes to her detriment.

My mom makes questionable and costly decisions most of the time, which usually are a product of her naivety. And even though we usually wind up fixing her problems for her, it's hard to stay upset with her. The fact remains that she has a heart of pure gold, a deep spiritual connection to God, a love for her family and friends, and is probably one of the nicest people you'll ever know.

Favorite past times with my mom: getting scared to death by her ghost stories (to this day, I believe that a ghost named "Miss Mary" lives in the house), throwing down on her dressing (Sorry Diane, but I think my mom's dressing can beat anybody's), and watching her sing in the choir.

Favorite memory of my mom: Taking her to her first Detroit Pistons game. Though the Pistons were on the losing end of that game, we had a blast together.

There you have it. That's my family. Is there any wonder why I'm so crazy?! Just kidding!

Seriously, though we're all separated by hundreds of miles, my family is...and always will be...the closest thing to my heart. I love you guys!

- ACL

My chosen path

Not too long ago, I was in deep contemplation about a crossroad that I’ve been facing. Do I leave my church or do I stay?

Well, I think I’ve made my decision. Or, to put it another way: I think my decision was made for me.

Without getting in the explicit details, my pastor pulled a REALLY FOUL number yesterday; in the middle of worship service no less. He blatantly lied against someone and blasted him in front of the entire congregation. Interestingly, he did so immediately after he “apologized” to the guy for a previous scuff. Don’t get me wrong: I don't necessarily feel bad for the man whom my pastor attacked. He’ll be fine. He’s a big boy and is more than able to spiritually handle his affairs. What bothered me most was what this situation represented: an insecure pastor who has to validate and protect himself at other people’s expense. That, to me, is not a healthy body.
That’s why my decision has been made for me.

That’s why I’m leaving.

**Digression**

The truth is: if I hadn't grown up in my church (my whole family went there so it was a given that I’d be there too), I would've probably left a long time ago. While we're at it: I probably would not have ever chosen a place like this as my church home to begin with. I never put much thought into being there. I was really there because everybody else was. Simply put: being there seemed like the easy and appropriate thing to do.

Sadly, after being with this particular church for over 20 years, I can only remember a handful of important sermons, a few worship experiences, and a tiny morsel of cases where I can recall actually being “fed”. Perhaps the saving grace of it all; the thing that makes sense out of my time at this church; are the relationships that I’ve built over the years. I was talking to one of my best friends the other night and we spent a couple of hours reminiscing about our childhood experiences at the church and all the fun we had. Although many of my relationships have dematerialized over the years; almost to the point where I’m now just another face in the crowd, they have always been the most important and significant part of my time at this church. I think that I put up with all the church’s nonsense (past and present) because of the J.D.’s, the A.D.’s, the R.R.’s, and the J McQ’s, in the congregation whom I know and love (I used initials here to ensure anonymity. They know who they are…). Above everything else, these people help to make up my spiritual lifestyle.

In some ways, I would argue that my only legitimate reason for being at church (lowercase “C”) was to create, build, sustain and edify relationships with other believers who have accepted God. From those relationships, you can then form the Church (capital “C”). I don’t think that I’d have as much of issue with the instituion of church (lowercase “C”) if it didn’t try to be the end all for spiritual growth and development. All of the attributes of the Church (capital “C”), like love, forgiveness, tolerance, patience, humility, compassion, selflessness, etc., have been replaced and substituted by the programming and routine of church (lowercase “C”). Yesterday morning, for instance, to make up for the fact that we were finished with morning service before the end of our radio broadcast, we filled in the remaining time by doing some fake, half-assed attempt at worshipping. D’oh! Was that a worship experience or was it another example of service being dictated by program?

Things only get worse when my pastor pulls the foul numbers that he did yesterday.

** End of digression **

Don’t get me wrong: I think that we should always remain in prayer for our leaders. We should always love and support them, even when they screw up. But, I refuse to believe that we have to tolerate their antics when they’re done so blatantly and disrespectfully as to tear down another person. As the Bible reminds us, we all sin and fall short of God’s glory. But do we all intentionally fall short while using the power of the pulpit; the very place where you should be sharing God’s word?! If this is the behavior I’m to expect from my leader, I need to go elsewhere.

All things being equal, I plan to let him know that I’m leaving and exactly why I’m leaving. To just get up and leave is not only irresponsible on my behalf, but I believe that God would hold me accountable if I did that.

Make no mistake abou it: I'll always keep the church and its pastor in my prayers and I'll always consider it home. But I'm done with that place.

- ACL

Controversy strikes again

I have a friend who; unbeknownst to me until recently; reads my blog a lot. She told me that, while some of my posts are pretty interesting, none of them are profound enough to generate too much discussion. Ten, fifteen or (on a good day) twenty responses will be all the discussion generated from one of my posts.

"Some of your posts are a little controversial. But, you need some truly hard hitting stuff," she told me.

Alright then. Fine…

Pat Robertson is a great evangelist. Benny Hinn is a true healer. Rev. Run really is a hip hop prophet. Slave labor isn’t all that bad. All gays are going to Hell. Jesus actually WAS a Republican. Paris Hilton deserves all the attention she receives. We really should post the Ten Commandments everywhere. Global warming is a lie. The Middle Passage was fictional. Bush really did win both of presidential elections fairly. Brokeback Mountain should have won the Academy Award for Best Movie. Myspace.com is a great place to socially interact and exchange intellectual thought. Democrats aren’t stupid after all. Season three of Nip Tuck didn’t suck. OJ is innocent. Jerry Falwell would make a terrific Secretary of Defense. Britney Spears is a terrific mother. Male “fashion experts” aren’t gay. Nice guys actually finish first. Mega churches are FAR better than smaller, more need-meeting churches. Bush's lack of intelligence is overstated. Criss Angel actually can walk on water. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes make a great couple. Allowing gay marriage will lead to people marrying animals; which is good since people should be able to marry animals anyway if they truly love them. Baptists are the only people going to Heaven. 50 cent is a true role model. I love being a white man.

Controversial enough for you? :)

- ACL

Here one minute, gone the next...

My Inbox is getting pretty full. My phone hasn't stopped ringing (well, except for that brief moment because I didn't pay my bill. *Digression* Don't ever add a person, especially an unreliable person to your cellular contract. *End of digression*). At one point, I even got a few visitors at home.

Wow.

There really is something to this whole "being missing-in-action" thing.

Apparently, taking a brief hiatus to battle influenza, to get caught up in class, and to manage a pretty heavy workload in the office was just the impetus I needed to get a hoard of people to try and track me down. On the one hand, I think it's pretty refreshing and comforting to know that people out there actually are concerned about a brotha. They seem to have a vested interest in my welfare and appear to take notice when I'm not around.

But why is it that when I am around, I'm like vapor?

Am I living in one of those strange worlds where I need to be missing in order to be noticed? Is my existence so routinized that I could be standing right there in a person's face and not be seen?

Maybe.

I guess, in a way, we're all like that.

We never know what we're missing until it's gone...

- ACL

Thoughts on 9/11

Hi all!

I'm really sorry for being MIA lately. I've been unbearably swamped lately. Classes are killing me, work just won't seem to stop piling up on me, and I've been battling a pretty bad case of the flu. But, thanks to you all for your concern, your emails, phone calls, and prayers. It's more appreciated that you realize.

As it stands, I'm still not feeling all that great today, but I really needed to shift my mind away from all of that. So, in keeping up with my nature, I thought I'd share my thoughts on the significant happenings around the world.

It just so happens that the day is September 11th.

On this day, half a decade ago, the world as we know it was completely thrown off its axis. To anyone who has lived on the apparently non-existent planet called Pluto, today marks the fifth anniversary of the World Trade Center attacks. Amidst all the remembrance and reflection of this tragedy, the country has been injected with a new wave of patriotism. Incidentally, though; for many people patriotism and religion have dangerously gone hand-in-hand. Event like 9/11 provide the impetus for such a dangerous blend.

What the incidents surrounding and proceeding 9/11 have taught me is that too many “Christian” Americans find it difficult to separate their politically lives and their beliefs. This is particularly disturbing to me because many Evangelical Christians – especially those on the right – shape their politics using Old Testament Judaism rather than New Testament Christianity. The way I see it, the political and Christian arenas don’t blend well because true Christianity is based on love, serving others, tolerance, forgiveness and selflessness; concepts that are often steamrolled by the industry of politics. Religiosity and politics, on the other hand, are perfect compliments to one another; especially since there is an inherent need to compromise religion for the purpose of gaining political power. That – to me – explains why the “perversity” of homosexuality or abortion can weigh heavier on people’s minds than a dismal economy, inadequate health care, and terrorism. Because of these truths, people like Pat Robertson, John Ashcroft, and George Bush are in the very positions where they need to be. They are right where they belong…in power. Like so many others who use religion and patriotism interchangeably, people like this seek to usurp God’s authority by trying to act on His behalf; falsely spreading their hatred, intolerance, and unacceptance in the name of God. Does this seem like the way that the Jesus who ate and drank with sinners would respond?

I didn’t think so either.

Nevertheless, I still love my country. As much junk as I talk about America and its leaders, there isn’t another place on the planet where I’d rather live. I love that I don’t have to choose between eating and medicine. I love that I can blast the President without repercussion (One second guys. I think I hear somebody knocking on my door…). I still get moved seeing patriotic pictures and messages. I still give it up for the men and women our there fighting so that I don’t have to.

Even though some people have dubbed me militant, I’m very much in love with America.

Don’t get me wrong. Unlike many “God Bless Americans”, I don’t think that God has given our country more favor than all the other places in the world. Likewise, I’ll never believe that the way things are done here need to be the way things are done around the world. Furthermore, I don’t believe that America can truly be defined by the bigoted, intolerant, and delusional leaders in D.C. (though over half the country voted for them. But, I digress…) or by what is voted on by a bunch of old, white men inside of older, not-so-white buildings.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this particular post. But, all I can say is – for good or for bad – God has really blessed this country. But, He hasn’t blessed us so much that we should feel qualified to take His job.

God Bless America, indeed.

All of it.

- ACL

Another year older (Gulp!)

I hope I don't have to pay royalties for doing this but...

*Ahem* Me me me me meeeee....

"Happy Birthday to me. Happy Birthday tooo me. Happy Birthday, Dear Andre. Happy Birthday to me."

Your boy just hit 27 today. Day-um! I'm getting closer and closer to the dreaded 3-0. Yikes.

Now, if you'll excuse me. I'm meeting with my doctor today so that he can assign me my very own walker...

- ACL

Restoration, part III

Lately, I've been calling into question the idea of relationships and whether or not they're worth restoring. But from an experience I had yesterday, I think I may have to recant some of my ideologies. Sometimes, relationships really are worth salvaging.

In an interesting turn of events, I was able to mend another pretty deep wound in my life. Again, it was with a person with whom I've been close since childhood. Our conversation started off on a pretty aloof note (rather than simply talking to one another, we sent each other short, emotionless emails). But piece by piece, we slowly began to open up to one another. Every email got a little friendlier. Every word was a little less cold and resentful. At one point, I even saw a smiley face. What later ensued was a phone conversation that lasted well into the early morning hours (in fact, if I'm a little sluggish with my writing, it probably has something to do with the 2 1/2 hours of sleep I got). We had a great time together. We joked, we laughed, we told each other freakishly scary stories that kept me up for at least another half hour after we got off the phone.

Simply put, we were chums again.

As with one friend, and then another, the two of us were able to put our anger and frustration for one another aside and try to get back to what made us friends in the first place. Though (just like with the other two instances) I'm not entirely sure that the circumstances which created our conflict will go away, I can at least be at some kind of peace knowing that I'm no longer in conflict with another friend. I think I can live with that.

In His famous and inspring beatitudes, Jesus said, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God." If we want God to bless our lives, we have to learn to be peacemakers. Now, I don't think that Jesus was referring to the guys who jump in the middle of gunfight and try to break it up. Now, that's just ridiculous. Rather, I think He was talking about the people who follow an endless and tireless pursuit of creating peaceful environments with others. Sometimes I think that my anger, frustration, and disappointment causes me to miss that mark. But, every so often a simple apology or removing a cloud of anger and discontent can really make the universe a little less hostile.

Don't get me wrong: The Bible never tells us that we have to create perfect relationships with people. But, we should have at least make an attempt to build a positive and fruitful relationship with people...even if it's only within the context of our relationship with Christ.

I think it's safe to say that we've done that...

- ACL

The inside joke explained...

I've been promising my best-est friend that I'd include a plug on my blog about one of our favorite video clips. Since I really don't have a lot of time to commit to heavy blog-like thinking today, I thought I'd just indulge you a bit with this clip:

In this particular skit from the highly controversial Chappelle's Show, as Chappelle and a bunch of other people are dancing in a nightclub, ?uestlove (pronounced "Questlove", the crazy sick drummer from The Roots) plays a 'new' song from the late Tupac Shakur. For any hip-hoppers out there, this is funny in and of itself, since Tupac has been dead since 1996. Yet he keeps releasing new albums. At any rate, Chappelle is impersonating Tupac with the same sound and intonation that became a signature of Tupac's.

The skits gets humorous when Tupac's song starts addressing people, issues, and things that are present-day, even though Tupac died almost a decade earlier. The song speaks to things like Bush winning the 2000 election, Blackberry phones, the popular video game Grand Theft Auto, and the conflict in Afghanistan. The skit gets even sillier when the lyrics address incidents that are going on right there in the club; a woman with stained and mismatched clothes, a guy bumping into the DJ's table, and Chappelle dancing with some woman who isn't his wife. But despite all of this song's current-day references, Tupac reminds the listener that he wrote this song "... '94".

This skit has quickly become one of my favorites and it explains some of the references that my friend has been making in some of my comment sections.

To get in on the inside joke, click here to view the video.

I'll be back with more meaningful stuff soon. In the meantime, have a great weekend.

- ACL

Alone. Good or bad?

I think I'm in one of those moods today. Maybe it's because I had one of those weekends again.

I'm once again in one of those places where I can't seem to make any sense out of things. Most of the people in my life don't make sense to me. The things in my life don't make sense to me. God...even my life itself doesn't seem to make much sense these days. What do I want in life? What types of people do I want in life? If anyone has the answer to these questions, I'm all ears.

I spent the greater part of my weekend in isolation. But, unlike times where I deliberately avoid the world (i.e. if I really need to study or get some work done), this time I felt like my arms were outstretched, but nobody was reaching back. I mean, people were flaking me left and right. For a moment, I was almost convinced that I had some infectious disease that caused people to want to stay away. Fortunately, it wasn't a disease after all. It was just indigestion...

At any rate, I had a strange experience yesterday that can pretty much sum up my weekend and the subsequent "mood" that was created as a result. After church, rather than make a 28 mile round trip from church to home and back again, I decided to stay in the area to eat (which has become sort of norm for me lately). My mom was out of town and I have no idea where my old man was (they're divorced so I had two different places where I could've been. But, imagine the luck, they were both gone). So, with limited options, I went to a local restaurant instead. There, I enjoyed some great food, relaxed a bit, and even managed to get a little studying done in the process. But, as I should have predicted, other folks at my church had the same idea. I ran into three different groups of people from my church at this particular location. Invariably, they all asked me the same question: "Andre, what are you doing here by yourself?" I gave them all the same response, flashed the same polite smile, while thinking the same bad things about each of them in my head.

Normally, that would've been all to it. But, things took a strange turn when my waitress suggested the same thing. In a sort of flirty way, she said to me (not in the exact words, but you get the gist) "Every time you come here, you're by yourself. You're too nice and too handsome to always be alone". Normally, this would've been grounds for me to get her manager or -- at the very least -- cuss her out, especially when she doesn't know me well enough to make that kind of assessment. But instead, her comments (which were actually pretty innocent) made me ask myself how pathetic I was. If I'm so "nice and handsome" (as she put it), intelligent, kind-hearted, selfless, etc., then why am I sitting at a booth by myself? Why am I sitting here in isolation?

On the one hand, I tend to go back to my initial suggestion that I spend most my time alone to study, work, or just to chill during my "Me Time". But, on the other hand, I tend to think that some other things are at work here. Maybe it has to do with the fact that most of the relationships in my life, perhaps with the exception of my country-scattered family, are (for the most part) conditional. I'm friends with people if certain things are in order or when certain things happen. Perhaps this weekend, the conditions weren't favorable enough for me to do anything but to be a loner.

In another funny story, I went to a jazz festival later that night. Of course, I also flew solo on this one. No suprise there. What was funny was that a friend of mine from campus was there also. She came and sat with me. But it wasn't before she said "I'm glad I finally found somebody here that I know." Yes, she's a friend of mine. But, was she sitting with me because we were friends or was it because no one else she knew was there? Now, don't get me wrong: we had a great time together (I mean, how could you not have fun with a night of jazz?). But an annoying question kept reverberating in my head:

Are people friends with me just because or is it to satisty their own conditions?

I guess that's one I'll never know. In the meantime, I suppose that the bigger question for me is, given the conditional relationships I have in my life right now, is it good or bad to be alone?

Your thoughts?

- ACL

Artwork

I should really be more careful about what I post on my site.

Apparently, a couple of people noticed on my profile that I draw. They've been requesting to see some of my stuff. So, for your viewing pleasure, I've decided to post some of my artwork. I wanted to put it on Blogger, but I was having the hardest time. So I posted my stuff to Yahoo instead. Please feel free to check it by clicking here:

*Note* I've also linked this site on the right side of this page, under the Some of my favorite sites section.

Criticism is welcomed. But, in the words of Erykah Badu; I'm an artist and I'm sensitive about my s***...

- ACL

Blessings

Sometimes I feel like the difficulties I face are pretty disheartening, and seemingly have no end in sight. I pray that God will perform a major, breakthrough in my life. I’m sure that we’ve all made that request once in a while. But, what happens when your hope and encouragement is met with disappointment time and time again?

Not too long ago, my best-test friend sent me some pictures of a trip she recently took. She is getting closer and closer to taking a huge step in her life; where her outcome is unknown. Nevertheless, I’m completely enamored by her determination. Likewise, my ultra-accomplished sisters have demonstrated -- time and time what happens when you continue to chase the things you want, remain faithful to God and never sell yourself short.

Each of their stories of perseverance remind me of the story of the lame man in Acts 3. This is a terrific story that helps to reenergize my faith in God's blessings, even when I can't always see them. According to scripture:

"Now Peter and John went up together into the temple at the hour of prayer, being the ninth hour. And a certain man lame from his mother's womb was carried, whom they laid daily at the gate of the temple which is called Beautiful, to ask alms of them that entered into the temple; Who seeing Peter and John about to go into the temple asked an alms. And Peter, fastening his eyes upon him with John, said, Look on us. And he gave heed unto them, expecting to receive something of them. Then Peter said, Silver and gold have I none; but such as I have give I thee: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rise up and walk. And he took him by the right hand, and lifted him up: and immediately his feet and ankle bones received strength. And he leaping up stood, and walked, and entered with them into the temple, walking, and leaping, and praising God."
- Acts 3:1-8

A few interesting things were discussed in this passage. This series of verses gives us insight on how to prepare for God's blessings:

(1) Get positioned to receive a blessing
By hanging out by a specific gate, the lame man was strategically setting himself up to receive a blessing. The gate called Beautiful was the largest and most visible gate to be found in the area. More importantly, it gave people access to the temple. The lame man used good, sound judgment by placing himself in the center of traffic. People who were on their way to worship would be sure to give him money; rather than ignoring him and being left to feel guilty about it during worship.

This begs an important question: are you adequately positioned to receive your blessing? Even if you don’t feel qualified for that certain position, did you apply anyway? You don’t think that your grades are high enough to get that certain scholarship. But did you complete that application anyway?

I think that sometimes we miss our blessings because we don't adequately positioned ourselves to receive them in the first place. Maybe we’re not being persistent enough. Or maybe we’re afraid to take a step into the unknown (I know that I'm guilty as hell on this one). But, one thing is for sure: receiving blessings often require us to be risk-takers. In the spirit of faith, we must be willing to try new things and take on new and unknown challenges. That said, put on your faith hat, turn on the tracking system, and see if you're in the right place.

(2) Look to God with expectancy
When the lame man noticed Peter and John passing him by, he asked them for money. I can just see it now: the moment that their eyes rested on his; even if only for a second, he noticed their intentions and met them with his expectancy. Although money wasn’t what he received, he was at least expecting something. If you think about it, this man essentially survived from the hustling he did. For him, begging and solicitation was a survival mechanism. How desperately do we seek to receive blessings?

It’s also interesting to note that the Bible makes no effort to mention this man’s name. One could suspect that he was considered relatively unimportant to those around him. On top of that, he’s lame and sick; essentially fortifying his unimportance. But rather than sitting around feeling sorry for himself, the Bible tells us that he made it a point to get carried to the gate every day. Every single day; every hour on the hour, this man was out there trying to take care of himself. This begs another question: how is your disposition regarding your current conditions? Are you spending your time wallowing around in pity because opportunities keep getting away from you? Or do you continue to hustle and bustle for your blessing?

A part of our problem, I think, is that we don’t always expect blessings. When we fail to expect blessings, aren’t we essentially short changing God? If He’s as great as we claim He is, and He’s delivered for us before, what makes you think that He can’t work with us now? How many times does God have to bless us in order for us to have radical faith in Him? I think that it’s important for us as believers to be injected with the expectation that God will work in our lives. Doing so gives Him more room to work.

(3) Recognize your blessing and accept it
Eventually, Peter charges the lame man to get up and walk. But, there's a little more to this that just getting up walking. Peter told the man to get up, walk, and keep walking. Peter’s intervention only got the ball in motion. It was up to the man to keep the blessing going. What good are God’s blessings if we just sit on them? When God blesses us, we should not stay in the frame of mind that we were once in. We must not continue looking at our situations through eyes of impossibility. Doing so can cloud the mind, and make us lose sight to waht God has or wants to do for us. Eventually, you may wind up back in the same difficult and hurtful place where you once were. But, looking to God with expectancy will nullify the impact of the circumstance we face. Then, once God works in our lives, we’ll be able to stand up – like the lame man – and receive what’s been coming to us.

Are you ready for God's blessings?

- ACL

More news

Time for yet another installment of Andre's miscellaneous news. Sorry:

Terrorist Plot Twarted?
It's just been reported that a suspected terrorist plot was twarted by U.S. and British officials today. Accroding to U.S. Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, a group of terrorists (possibly linked to Al-Qaeda) were in the "final stages" of executing their plans to detonate explosives on several passenger planes headed to major US and UK cities. Immediately following the apprehension of 21 suspects, each country's governments raised their security alerts.

What's interesting is that the suspects who were apprehended weren't even at the airport. They were arrested in a British suburb. Apparently, the British Feds used a "covert counter-terrorist operation" to gather their 'intelligence'. Is this really what happened? Did the Brits really have sufficient evidence to suggest a terrorist plot? Or is this another lie used to garner more support on this so-called "war on terror"? Perhaps the bigger question for Americans is: will this give Dubya the green light to continue spying on people at will?

Civil War in Iraq?
Last week in Washington, DC, two top U.S. Generals were put on the record by stating that the continued violence in Iraq could soon catapult the country into a civil war. So while Israel and Hezbollah continue to bang heads, the quickly forgotten chaos in Iraq is also getting worse.

Your president has done a pretty good job of proving that he can't effectively run a campaign against 'terrorism' in Iraq, so I'm not liking the chances of instant resolution any other Middle Eastern conflicts. Geez. If only those idiotic Democrats did a good job of communicating Bush's failures in 2004. Sure Bush tried (and apparently succeeded) to suggest that he hadn't made any mistakes with this war. Now, at least, he kinda sorta said that he may have been a little off; maybe by a small, itty-bitty bit. If the Dems are smart (that's a joke), they'd capitalize on this to shift the Congressional balance of power. The change might pressure the Prez to come up with a more realistic tragedy for handling Iraq and preventing a civil war. But, apparently, that's too much to ask.

It's interesting to note that during the hearings, your boy Rummy pretty much just sat there...

More fighting in Lebanon
Speaking of the Israel/Hezebollah pay-per-view death match, it doesn't appear that the conflict is going to get better any time soon. As my esteemed blogger buddy pointed out, this thing has reached a point of critical mass. Lebanese civilians are getting killed. Israelis are dying by the loads. Hezebollah forces are getting annihilated. UN facilities are getting bombed. At least one Canadian, Fin, Austrian, and Chinese casualty has been recorded. Israel is even attacking the Red Cross.

Pretty soon, we might be calling this World War III.

Please, please, please, continue to pray for this conflict to end.

Arrested for doing good?
We’ve just hit a new low.

According to this article, the City Council of Las Vegas, Nevada just made it illegal to give food to homeless people in city parks. In a city that uses money as toilet paper, citizens can get arrested for feeding the homeless.

As insightful as I try to be, I can’t think of anything to say that doesn’t have at least three different obscenities in it. So, I’ll leave it up to you to use your imagination to tell what I’m thinking right now…

House passes bill to raise minimum wage; Congress looks to cut more taxes
Last week, the House of Representatives voted to raise the minimum wage to $7.25/hr. In all liklihood, the bill won't pass on the Senate floor. If it doesn't, I can't say that I'd be suprised. Over the past few years, Republicans have made it clear that providing tax relief for the wealthy is the more important issue.

Interestingly, the GOP tried to connect the wage increase to a cut in incomes taxes, But, for you non-economists out there, this isn't something that we can afford to do, especially with this expensive a** war on our hands. Furthermore, unless I'm proven wrong: I haven't read anything to suggest that Congress will refund some of the educational tax cuts that are expired or close to expiring. In a time where tuition prices are shooting through the roof, Congress will continue deny tax relief for poor students. The GOP should be put on a political time-out.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for raising minimum wage, especially given the rise in inflation. But, with all of this tax manipulation that Congress is doing, raising minimum wage is something that you and I can't afford. But, as long as those wealthy guys are being taken care of, everything is kosher, right?!

Scientist advocates culling
This is a pretty old story but it still amazes me. According to reports, a "top scientist" presented a speech at the Texas Academy of Science where he advocated the mass culling of 90% of the human population. This moron argues that the Ebola virus should be used to eliminate 90% of the world’s population since this so-called AIDS virus is not eliminating people fast enough. Perhaps the most disturbing part of this story is that some of his colleagues and fellow 'academics' supported his ideas. He received a standing ovation.

This begs an important question. Will Dr. Death be one of the first to volunteer?

MTV show generates racial controversy
I just read that MTV is drawing criticism about a new cartoon it just released. The cartoon "Where My Dogs At"; about the misadventures of two stray dogs in Hollywood; generated controvery because a scene included bikini-clad women on all fours and leashed up while deficating on the floor (of course, that part was digitally distorted. It's a 'teenage appropriate' cartoon). This scene was done in parody to an actual video by "artist" Snoop Doggy Dog; who actually produced a video with several women wearing neck collars and chains.

Some prominent African-American leaders have spoken out, condemning the show. Usually, I'd be inclined to agree. But where's the outrage for the real bikini-clad women parading around like property in real hip hop videos?! I mean, that's all we see on stations like BET. Why aren't these protestors opposing that?!

Hypocrisy at its finest, I guess...

Bush gives himself more power
According to this article, King George just gave himself permission to give himself more power. The Presidential Empowerment Act, created by on White House stationery and immediately signed into law, gives Bush full authority to grant himself the power to increase his control over all three branches of the federal government.

*Note to my Bush-supporting readers* This story is only satire. I just wanted to throw in a little humor amongst the other ridiculous headlines. Please don’t send me any more hate mail…

I think that's it for now. But sadly, I wouldn't count on it...

- ACL

Spiritual intersections

Not too long ago, Aldo (one of my blog mates) wrote an interesting post about reaching a crossroad in his life. Though our issues aren't the same, I think that I've also reached an important crossroad in my life; a spiritual crossroad. You see, I'm slowly watching my church fade into oblivion; and I feel powerless to stop it.

Sometimes I can't tell whether our church is being led by the Divine or by divide.

We have a pastor who is so insecure that he spends more time validating himself by building structures than he does for building souls. We have deacons who have been bullied to the point they've essentially become mindless and useless. Our financial irresponsibilites appear to be catching up to us. We have choirs who are conflicting with one another. We have an organist who never comes to rehearsal, plays like crap on Sunday and still gets paid for it. We have one of the hardest working church staff on the planet; yet they are constantly overworked and underappreciated. Our once strong congregation (both in membership and -- I hate to say it -- income) has been reduced to a handful of devoted followers. For every new person who joins the fold, at least two stronger Christians leave (though sometimes I wonder how "strong" they really were to leave on such bad terms). Things are starting to look bad.

What happened to my church?

What happened to my home?

My best friend and I made a pact (in fact, I hope that she's reading this; just in case she needs to be reminded). We have made praying for our church a HIGH priority. In some sense, I've placed the concerns of my church in a higher regard than my own concerns. But, as I've mentioned before, prayer is most effective (I think) when it has an element of application involved with it as well. In other words, unless I plan on getting involved with the problem, my prayer is just a prayer.

But what happens when the problem gets so bad that I find it unbearable? My initial response was to turn it over to God. But, I don't believe that God actually changes a situation. Instead, He changes our hearts and our response to the situation. But that only happens when we want it to. Frankly, I just don't see that happening. Too many people -- my pastor included -- have become so complacent with how things are, that change is highly unlikely. It's getting pretty bad in the trenches.

Do I leave or do I stay? Do I challenge the system or do I assimilate into it? So many questions, so few answers. Worse yet, I can't seem to hear God speaking to me about this one.

I guess that all I can do at this point is to continue to pray. I'm asking you to do the same.

Thanks.

- ACL

Burning questions

For all you religious folks out there, I have few burning questions for you:

1) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is the neighbors. They claim the odor bothers them. Should I kill them?

2) For dads who would like to sell their daughters into slavery (Exodus 21:7), what do you think would be a fair asking price in today's economy?

3) I know that I can't come in contact with a woman while she's on her period. She's unclean. (Lev 15:19-28). The problem is: how do I tell her that?

4) Lev. 25:44 states that I can own slaves as long as they're purchased from neighboring countries. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. If he can own Mexicans, why can't I own Canadians? What's wrong with Canadians?

5) I know a guy whose job requires him to work on the Sundays. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Should I hang him, stab him, or stone him?

6) Since eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev 11:10), does that mean I'm going to Hell for eating shrimp scampi?

7) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I'm too short, injured, with a hutchback, poor vision, facial blemishes or jack up testicles. If I read this correctly, does that mean that only Brad Pitt can go to the altar?

8) I saw a sweet tattoo that I wanted to get. But Lev 19:28 explicitly tells me I can't. Should I do it anyway?

9) When I went to the barber shop last week, I saw a bunch of dudes getting their hair cut. Some of them were also getting their beards and moustaches trimmed up a bit. But, this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. That being said, how should I kill them?

10) Any person who acts like a psychic must be put to death (Lev 20:27). Should we kill Ms. Cleo (or did her career already beat us to it)?

11) I know that, according to Lev 11:6-8, touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean. Does that mean that anyone who has ever eaten Jimmy Dean is filthy?

12) I met a guy at our city's farmer's market selling tomatoes, corn, and potatoes that he grew on his farm. According to Lev 19:19; he's in violation since he's not allowed to plant more than one type of crop in the same field. I also noticed that he was wearing a shirt with a cotton/polyester blend. Do I really have to go through the trouble of stoning him? Wouldn't it be more fun to just burn him to death like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

If you can take a moment from your Bible-carrying, cross-wearing, sinner bashing, 'good ole family values' promoting, God Bless America singing, sanctimonious, holier-than-thou day to help me out on some of these, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks!

- ACL

Singled out

In an effort to get to know the man behind the blog, some of my online friends have asked me why I'm so cynical about relationships. After all, doesn't the Bible tell us that "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord" (Proverbs 18:22)? Why, then, do I have such a negative outlook on dating and relationships?

Well, let's clarify one thing here. I'm not against dating and relationships. I just don't think that the idea of it all applies to my life. People who know me outside of this blog (Imagine that. I don't spend my whole life on this blog after all!) mostly think that my 'cynicism' is a product of my failure in a certain relationship. They'd argue that I shouldn't allow one relationship disaster to affect my outlook on relationships as a whole. Normally, I would agree.

But...

The fact is: I've been in just about every type of relationship there is. I've been with an ultra-intelligent woman; and a not-so-intelligent woman. I've been with a shy, introverted woman, and an outspoken, extroverted woman. I've been with a suburban woman and a woman straight out of 'da hood. I've been with a socially conscious, righteous women and a woman who only cares about the world of celebs. I've been with a woman whom I hardly knew and a woman who I've known for most of my life. I've dated Christians and non-Christians. I've even dated interracially.

Interestingly enough, though each relationship was as different as night and day, the results would invariably be the same. I'd make that person my queen, she'd make me her court jester, and -- when she grew tired of me (or, in most cases, someone more appealing came along) -- I'd get the "You're a nice guy, but..." speech.

Every time.

It never fails.

For me, the only question became "When's it gonna happen?".

Is that the type of cycle I'm supposed to run around in for the rest of my life?

I'm slowly getting to point where I'm thinking maybe it's not in God's will for me to realize a successful relationship. Maybe this is God's way of telling me that I'm more useful to Him as a single man. That being said, my outlook on relationships (for me) is not cynical, but rather an attempt to discover the truth. I think that God blesses some people with fruitful relationships, but not others. That's not to say that He doesn't bless single people in other ways; just not when it comes to finding mates.

Paul was one of the greatest apostles in history, and he accomplished that feat without being married. In I Corinthians, he states:

"But this I say by way of concession, not of command, Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I."( 7:6-8,)

Though Paul clearly indicates that this is not a commandment from God, he does a terrific job of reminding the Corinthians that neither being single or married has a higher emphasis over the other. Rather, they are both gifts. Paul mentioned -- on more than one occasion -- that if it were up to him, the Corinthian church would all be like him (unmarried). Granted, it would be hard to imagine Paul standing up in front of my church telling all of us single cats that it's better for us to stay that way. But for people like me -- who have been torn down from relationships more than they've been built up, singleness may be the best thing to happen to us.

Cynicism? I don't think so. I like to think of it as protecting myself from hurt and hardship so that I can serve God a little more adequately.

- ACL

Unbearable?

Graduate school has been a nightmare for me. I’ve been struggling as a grad student ever since I started about a year ago. Since that time, I’ve switched programs twice, and I still haven’t been able to find my nitch. As an undergrad, things went so smoothly for me. I usually took a seat as one of the ‘smart guys’ in the class. You know, the one who always seem to screw up the curve. But, in grad school, it’s been a completely different story.

I was talking with a fellow church member about how difficult of a time I've been having in school. In addition to some of the glib remarks that church folks are known for (i.e. “I’m praying for you.” or “God is in control”), he tossed one out there that made me bite my bottom lip:

“God never puts more on you than you can bear.”

I'm not calling this guy out in particular, but I believe that whoever came up with this line is completely misguided.

If God never gives us more than we can handle, then how do you explain (otherwise sane) people who go crazy after tragic events? What does it mean when something so horrible happens in our lives that we just can’t seem to cope? Is it really just a matter of us ‘trying’ a little harder to overcome these problems? If we can bear our problems, then what good is God to us?

Though I can’t seem to fit my ideas into the Word, I think that God allows us to be weighed down by the problems of the world. I know, from personal experience that we can get broken by the circumstances of life that we thought that we were supposed to control. But, if God doesn’t allow burdens to weigh us down, then how can we “Cast all of our cares upon Him?” I think that the only way for us to completely lean on God is for something to happen to us that only He can deliver us from. Besides that, I think that God finds it a lot easier to work in the lives of people who have been broken up than with people who think that they are in control.

Your thoughts?

- ACL

Great music

I just copped a couple of great CDs that I wanted to share with you. In an empty and vacuous industry full of oversexualitzed women, materialisitc and chauvanistic hip hoppers, whiny boy bands, and noisy rockers, it's always refreshing to know that some artists haven't lost touch with music...

First, there's Sean Dietrich. I was actually introduced to Sean right here on my blog. In one of my posts, he left a comment which redirected me to his website. Check it out here.


When I first heard his album, I was absolutely rocked. Sean's music is a clear reflection of his love and tribute for God. What's also great about his work is that he is allowing free downloads on his debut album, Nothing Special. For those without downloading capability, he's also offering to send his CD for free! This gifted artist has blessed me with his work. I'm sure that you'll find that same blessing. Thanks Sean!

Next on the playlist, we've got Corinne Bailey Rae. My apologies any ladies interested in me (all negative 12 of you...), but this woman has stolen my heart (well, she and Joann Rosario). I didn't believe in love at first sight until I saw her...


I first saw her on the Tavis Smiley show and then again on the Tonight Show. Not only is she righteous as all outdoors (especially with her spiritual outlook), but she's also incredibly talented. Her sultry, neo-soulistic sound has a little Bill Withers combined with some Jill Scott; with a touch of Alicia Keys on the side. But, above all, she simply exudes positive energy with her voice. I'm in love...

If you've got a couple of extra bucks in your pocket, I think you should add these guys to your music selection. I don't think you'll be disappointed...

- ACL

Integration of church and state?

Occasionally, there are times when I really enjoy being at church. Sometimes we have those days where things at our church fall into place. The music is uplifting, the sermon is strong, my pastor doesn’t gripe so much, and the members behave themselves. Everything feels right.

Let’s just say that yesterday wasn’t one of those days.

The day started off on a pretty OK note. But things took a pretty interesting and, well, stupid turn as my pastor opened the floor for a number of visiting politicians to speak. After they each presented their little pony and card shows, my pastor only devoted about 15 minutes or so for his sermon (not a very good one, by the way. I nodded off a couple of times. But, I digress…). I admit that I was pretty disappointed after this spectacle. What should have been an uplifting and inspirational way to start the week quickly turned into a political infomercial.

Interestingly, though this experience bothered me immensely, there was nothing politcally wrong with it. My pastor doesn’t seem to be endorsing any one particular candidate, nor was he using the church as a campaign outpost. Though in many instances, pastors have gone as far as to tell their congregation who to vote for (precisely how Bush was able to lure so much of the black vote), my pastor didn’t appear to have an hidden biases toward any candidate. For the most part, he didn’t show any signs of shadiness. Nevertheless, it has always been my contention that many of the larger evils in this world start off with tiny little concessions that appear to be harmless. That said, even the insignificant, once-in-a-blue moon visits from politicians during our sacred worship time made me feel a little annoyed and concerned.

Now, on the one hand, I completely understand how significant the church is (or at least should be) to the black community. Historically, the black church was the backbone of the community. Education, information, activism, and outreach efforts were all created in within the four walls of the church. But, back in the day, the church was the media for exchanging ideas, having discussions, and raising awareness. Today, all you have to do is pick up a book ever now and then, listen to discussions, and click on a few websites to get information about anything. There are more ways to collect information about politicians and their views than through Sunday morning visits.

Sadly, though, I’ll also admit: that many people at my church (or the rest of the community for that matter); especially youth probably care more about the BET Music Awards or the next American idol more than they do their city council members or state representatives. So, to that end, this type of political infiltration into our service was necessary to put a face on the people for whom we would be voting. Furthermore, maybe…just maybe…this would be enticing enough to get people out to vote and to make their voices heard.

I guess that’s why I’m so conflicted by politicians visiting churches. I think that my main problem is two fold:

One, I hate how politicians try to lure our (Black people’s) votes. Democrats say a few cheery things about helping blacks to progress in the society and they effortlessly earn our support. Republicans toss out the ‘religious’ card, and many of them receive our support (Hello? Anybody remember the 2004 presidential election?!).

Secondly, I feel like my spiritual time has been intruded upon when I have to share it with some politician who couldn't give a rat's a*$ about any of us.

Let the record show, however, that I have NO PROBLEM with the church being involved in community activism. To me, that’s a part of our calling in the ministry. For instance, a collection of our pastors have created a (to my knowledge) non-profit coalition devoted to reducing the rampant violence in our city. We need a collection of positive energy in our communities.

But politicizing our worship service is not the way to go. At least, I don’t think it is…

Your thoughts?