Today was a good day for me.
After fighting endless feelings of frustration, anger and disappointment, I earned a good friend back today. I admit, it was an awesome feeling.
You see, we spent so much of our time silently going at each other's throats for different things, that I couldn't see him as anything but an opponent. He'd betray me, I'd betray him. He'd silently tear me down, I'd silently tear him down. We were getting nowhere. It got so bad that rather than seeing him as a brother in Christ; another sinner saved by grace, I saw him as my arch enemy. Worse yet, I didn't even care.
But, as I try to walk closer to Christ, I think that it's imperative for me to resolve any issues that I have with others, whether they're willing to meet me half way or not. This guy was no exception. So, we talked, joked, and laughed. We shared our frustrations with each other, apologized, and resolved to make things different -- well, more like better -- between us.
Now, I'll be the first to admit that one of the most pressing issues about our relationship, is not gonna go away. But, this only challenges me more to rise about it. It challenges me to accept God's offer of healing; even if it's not delievered the way that I think that it should be. As I mentioned in a previous post, God's methods of healing don't always fit our 'best case scenario'. But, God knows what's best for us even more than we think we know. That said, I'm not going to ask God to change the 'situation' between us. Instead, I'm asking Him to change my heart; to change the way I view and respond to it. That way, even when the 'situation' is still right in my face, at least it won't have to weigh on me any more.
I think that it's safe to say that we've made our peace. But now comes the hard part. You see, making peace is not always difficult. It just requires parties who are willing to forgive one another. The real challenge comes with living at peace. People can talk a mean game about how 'changed' they are. But it's not until they can live out that change in their life, that they've really accomplished anything. This is a victory that takes days, months...years of growth to fully realize.
But for now, I can find content in knowing that the two of us have, at least, found restoration.
And I feel good about it.