Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Restoration, part III

Lately, I've been calling into question the idea of relationships and whether or not they're worth restoring. But from an experience I had yesterday, I think I may have to recant some of my ideologies. Sometimes, relationships really are worth salvaging.

In an interesting turn of events, I was able to mend another pretty deep wound in my life. Again, it was with a person with whom I've been close since childhood. Our conversation started off on a pretty aloof note (rather than simply talking to one another, we sent each other short, emotionless emails). But piece by piece, we slowly began to open up to one another. Every email got a little friendlier. Every word was a little less cold and resentful. At one point, I even saw a smiley face. What later ensued was a phone conversation that lasted well into the early morning hours (in fact, if I'm a little sluggish with my writing, it probably has something to do with the 2 1/2 hours of sleep I got). We had a great time together. We joked, we laughed, we told each other freakishly scary stories that kept me up for at least another half hour after we got off the phone.

Simply put, we were chums again.

As with one friend, and then another, the two of us were able to put our anger and frustration for one another aside and try to get back to what made us friends in the first place. Though (just like with the other two instances) I'm not entirely sure that the circumstances which created our conflict will go away, I can at least be at some kind of peace knowing that I'm no longer in conflict with another friend. I think I can live with that.

In His famous and inspring beatitudes, Jesus said, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God." If we want God to bless our lives, we have to learn to be peacemakers. Now, I don't think that Jesus was referring to the guys who jump in the middle of gunfight and try to break it up. Now, that's just ridiculous. Rather, I think He was talking about the people who follow an endless and tireless pursuit of creating peaceful environments with others. Sometimes I think that my anger, frustration, and disappointment causes me to miss that mark. But, every so often a simple apology or removing a cloud of anger and discontent can really make the universe a little less hostile.

Don't get me wrong: The Bible never tells us that we have to create perfect relationships with people. But, we should have at least make an attempt to build a positive and fruitful relationship with people...even if it's only within the context of our relationship with Christ.

I think it's safe to say that we've done that...


5 "Insiders" spoke their mind. Join in...:

green eyed girl on planet earth said...

Andre My GEM,

Looks like you have been doing some mending in your life ,mending of things gone wrong ,or things you feel negative about .This shows personal growth and that you too can forgive with your good heart.
It must be a blissful feeling to resolve issues that have kept you and your friend on unfriendly terms .Remembering what the issues between you caused the rip ,it may keep you from getting close as you once were , adding hindsight from bothof you , age and maturity from the time of the split , into account , what one would once do at a younger age does not define the person of today ,as it took you to this age to open up to this friendship ,some growth could be on the otherside .
May you be life long friends and hey ,staying up into the wee hours can be worth it :} I" ll call you around 2:AM LMAO

Not a Republican said...

I guess a little persistance goes a long way. You've inspired me. I have a friend with whom I've had a falling out with over the most trivial thing on God's green earth. Yet we haven't made up because we're both too stubborn to do so!

I think I'll make that call now.....

monique said...

Good for you, Andre. I'm happy to see that you have mended the friendship. Good friends are REALLY hard to find, so once you have them, I think you shouldn't let them go. Good job!

Andre said...

@ Greeny: Thank you for your insight. I'm blown away at how much of a sage you are. :) It's from the support and encouragement of people like you that I'm able to grow!

By the way, if you ever decide to call at 2 in the AM, sleep can wait...

@ Not a Republican: It's good to recognize when there's a need to fix problems in our lives. Sometimes we use our "persistence" in a bad way by persistently refusing to try and fix our problems. I guess it just depends on how badly you want to remedy things.

Also, I think you should not necessarily expect for the situation that you and your friend have gone through to magically disappear. Rather, you should try to change your RESPONSE to the situation. As I said earlier, I'm not expecting the issues that caused our beef to go away. But, at least I know where things lie and I can accept it without holding on to grudges.

Good luck with your moves!

@ Monique: I wholeheartedly agree. Good friends are hard to come by. In my case (conflicts aside), my friends are like another family. So, given how close I am to immediate family, my friends serve as a reinforcement of sorts. Despite how much junk I talk about them, they're some good folks (*wink)

green eyed girl on planet earth said...

Andre~ MY GEM ,

Your words are sweet ,you may just get that call LOL
wouldnt that be surreal ..........Hope your well Andre and the classes /work is not kicking the stuffin out of you !