Uncle Tom-dre...?
I hate putting myself on blast. But sometimes, maybe I just deserve it.
Yesterday as I was leaving a gas station, I was confronted by a young, white woman in tears. Appearance wise, the woman seemed relatively "together"; insofar as I could determine. She was wearing an Nike jumpsuit, had her hair neatly pulled back in a ponytail, and was wearing a hint of conversatively applied makeup. Minus the cigarette she was puffing (I get endlessly annoyed by smokers) she appeared innocent enough. She proceeded in giving me a sob story about how she ran out of gas up the road, how her cell phone died, and how she didn't have any money. Though I offered to take her where she needed to go (Admittedly this is a pretty naive and dangerous habit of mine. I'm working on that.), she declined. Instead, she asked me for "a few dollars". Without hesitation, I pulled out the last $8 I had on the planet and gave it to her. She thanked me for the money and started on -- what I think was-- a trek back to her vehicle.
After that encounter, I stuck my chest out in a self congratulatory manner; praising myself for doing what I considered my good deed for the day. But upon further reflection, I thought about all the times I was approached by scrungy, unkept people with similar stories where I wasn't so quick with my benevolence. I thought about the brothas I see in downtown Flint to whom I'd likely not be so generous. While I do still make it a point to offer assistance if it's requested, I never, ever freely distribute money. Instead, I'd take it upon myself to buy the goods or service they needed. For instance, if someone asked me for money to buy something to eat, rather than giving them my cash, I'd offer to buy the food for them. I simply don't trust people enough to use my cash donations for the purposes they indicate. Yet, when it came to this innocent looking (and yes, pretty) white woman, I did the exact opposite. When she came to me in distress, I not only gave her cash -- thus breaking my own rule -- I did it without hesitation.
I can't help but to feel like I somehow displayed the same kind of prejudice that continues to pervade our society; prejudice based on looks and race. I mean, I could've very well given my last $8 to a pretty, white con artist to whom I immediately showed compassion -- just because she looked a certain way. What does that say about me? Does that make me as bad as the media of whom I'm so critical?
Your thoughts?
- ACL