The Church Club
As a child turned young man, I grew up in a pretty strict church environment; as I'm sure most of you have. Interestingly, the very idea of God's saving grace was often overpowered by the magnitude of the rules that folks of the church practiced over time; and which will likely be followed through perpetruity.
You know the rules: No female ministers, no earrings for men, no pants for women, no dancing, no playing cards, no walking during service, no chewing gum, etc. The list goes on and on. Oddly enough, it wasn't nearly as bad at my church as it was for many of my friends at theirs. I mean, their churches banned simple things like long hair for men (though I also remember getting attacked for growing my hair out into an afro when I was getting my hair twisted), short hair for women, perfume/cologne, tattoes, and makeup. The rules were often defended by history and tradition so I typically went along with them; though having my occasional moments of anti-tradition defiance.
I guess my ultimate hang up was not necessarily with how ridiculous most of our rules were. I was most concerned by the fact that many practices that we should have rules against somehow made it through the cracks. Never mind that: those practices didn't just slip by, they were widely and popularly accepted. Practices like racial disharmony, bigotry, intolerance, rudeness, gossip, and backbiting were all allowed to become standard practices without so much as a peep of resistence from church folks. As a black church, we only fellowshipped with other black churches. As a heterosexual members, we only fellowshipped with other heterosexuals (comfortably, at least). As a socially dignified church, we only fellowshipped with other socially dignified people (though Black folks have an uncanny ability to sell how well off they are when -- in reality -- most of us are broke as hell).
Anybody outside of our church could join if they would have the decency and the willingness to become like us. If not, well...sorry. No club membership for you. This is not to say that the "doors of the church" weren't open, you just weren't allowed to join the cliques and clubs that lied within. In the off chance that you were able to successfully infilitrate the various fraternities within the church, you were more of a statistic to be counted in the Pastor's annual report than you were a person.
When faced with these realities, it's no wonder to me so many folks have given up on the church. Exclusivity has never been an effective tool for ministering to those outside of the fold. Hell, even I often felt excluded from the club; and I was apart of it! I can only imagine how difficult it must be for 'outsiders'.
One of the important things that has somehow gotten lost over the years is that the Church that Jesus came to establish (you know; the one that was built on Peter?) was not designed to be an exclusive club. There are no VIP lounges; no need for RSVPs. Though some discomfort is to be expected of 'outsiders' (because their self-reflection has revealed how dirty and shameful they may be. In fact, we should all feel discomfort like this), such discomfort should never come because of how we respond to them. Yet, that's often the case. The end result is that outsiders are afraid to come to the church if they live a life they consider wrong. For that matter, they are afraid to come to church if they...well, just live.
Absent of God's unconditional/underseved grace and the ability to see people as just people, I fully understand our propensity to reject and/or exclude people different from ourselves. I can especially understand it if those 'different' people were somehow 'not as good' as we are (Sad that our pride makes us see things this way). But somewhere down the road, that habit needs to be broken; that unspoken rule overturned. But with many of the current faces in our midst, I'm not holding my breath.
I remember not too long ago before I left my old church, there were a couple of really attractive young ladies who had recently joined. A few of us guys at the church affectionately nicknamed one of them "Beyonce", though she bore no real resemblence to the famous pop singer. On the surface, she seemed pretty cool, nice, and genuinely interested in being a part of our church family. At the end of the day, that's all that counts, right? One Sunday, Beyonce arrived at church wearing a sort of mink boa thingy (that's my technical term), a miniskirt (which wasn't that revealing, by the way), and some knee high boots. All hell broke loose. After being rudely and inappropriately tag-teamed by a few of the older ladies at the church (one of whom was the Pastor's wife), Beyonce left and -- as far as I can tell -- never came back. I predict the other young lady will be next. Sucks for us guys (*joke*)
I suppose that on the one hand, I saw this coming. Since the day they joined, both of these young ladies had eyes of reproach burning directly into them from the members of the church; especially other women (HATERS!). So the lack of sensitivity that comes with checking people on what's "appropriate" for church (as if God ever made such distinctions) was to be expected. Sadly, I wasn't disappointed. This story (and many others like it) remind me that the church is all but sensitive to those outside of the circle.
It always amazes me to think that the Christ for whom our lives are to be patterned opened Himself to the most vile people of His day. Hookers, sick folks, criminals, and tax collectors (synonymous, perhaps?) were all drawn to Jesus; and He to them. They were dirty as they approached them, and He got dirty to reach for them. True, once they experienced Him its likely that most of them did not revert back to their former selves (though I'm not so sure about that. If people were sinless after they came to Jesus, what's the point of endless grace?). But ultimately, people didn't have to refine their resumes, throw on pinstripe suits, and file down their heels in order to gain access to Jesus and to be a part of His club.
Why, then, do we expect to them to do those things to satisfy us?
- ACL
