Saturday, July 14, 2007

The obvious choice (at least for me)


Random thought for the day: If you think that love is better than money, trying using love to get the creditors to stop calling.


**Update**

To avoid misinterpretation (*ahem* Joslyn. I'm just sayin...): If you think that being in love is better than money, trying using love to get the creditors to stop calling.

- ACL

36 "Insiders" spoke their mind. Join in...:

Joanne said...

Well I for one believe that love is infinitely better than money. Call me old fashioned, but I've always believed the adage: money can't buy happiness.

Still, your take on it is pretty amusing. :)

Ga girl said...

Personally, I agree with Joanne. If it came down to it, I'd choose love in a heartbeat. Yes it's true that money can satisfy our needs for material, it can't satisfy our ultimate need for companionship and for somebody to SHARE with. Gratification that comes with having money is far more temporal than the deep, everlasting bond that you share with your soulmate. Can't buy that at Fredricks of Hollywood.

Cynthia said...

I love my hubby and all, buuuuttt...

LOL! Just kidding!

cyn said...

I joke, but I would seriously keep the love in my life before I would choose money. I've been down before with my finances. It was unpleasant, but certainly not life destroying. But once God sent my husband, my life has never been as great as it is now. He's my everything and I wouldn't trade it for any number of zeros you could come up with. Money has never made me smile as much as he does nor has it ever given me the chills that he has. No material can ever substitute for the spiritual connection you have when you find THAT one. It's a shame that everyone won't have the same experience.

KC said...

I've already got love in my life. Now I want some MONEY!

Andre said...

@ Joanne/GA Girl: "...money can't buy happiness."

Hmmm. A jaguar, a nice crib, the ability to travel anywhere at anytime, not having to work every freakin' day, being able to bless others. If money can't buy happiness, it can at least buy the things that would make me happy.

@ Cyn: OK. Now that the violins are finished playing, let's look at things from a practical perspective. I'm not bashing folks who are in love, but I'm the type who feels more confident in things that I can control. If I come across lots of $$$, I can make the choice of risking it in the stock market or tucking it away under a matress. What happens to that money is at my discretion. With "love", you're far more vulnerable to what SOMEBODY ELSE does. You can do EVERYTHING right and still lose out in the end. So for me money = something that can make you happy AND something you can contrl while love = something that can make you happy but something you can't control.

Are you sure you won't reconsider your answer? :)

@ KC: Again, you need prayer dawg.

Anonymous said...

Since money is the root of all evil (look no further than all of the world's problems that stem from people's greed), love wins for me each time.

Andre said...

@ anonymous: Actually, according to the Bible the LOVE of money is the root of all evil, but I get your point. I guess.

But money can't be all bad right? I mean, churches try to get it all the time. In fact, some churches charge $$$ to conduct weddings. The cash trumps the love! But that's another story for another day...

Greeneyes said...

Andre`
My Handsome "eye on the green" KING,
Say it isnt so !!!!

Monetary value cannot be placed on true passionate , all consuming , cant live without you LOVE.!
Having comforts from money in life makes life easier not better .(No the two are not always combined ) When all said and done ,better to have rolled the love dice and have that uncontrolled LOVE passion in the end ,what else is there but the love of others ? Money can be great but not first .

G

Joslyn said...

*thinks to self*


"I'm so glad that God valued love over all of His possesions....which is everything."

What if God would've valued money over love?

Andre said...

@ Greeny: I'm sorry my green eyed queen but:

"Monetary value cannot be placed on true passionate , all consuming , cant live without you LOVE.!"

According to 2006 statistics: 15 people are married for every 1,000 people. Of those 15 people, 7.2 of them will get divorced. That's 48% of all marriages. Trends from previous years show that 48% as being an increase. Divorce is quickly starting to become the majority. So either Cupid isn't doing his job or that "uncontrolled love passion" isn't all it's cracked up to be. Just my opinion.

@ Jos: I don't think you'll disagree with the idea that we embrace different levels of "love". Love for spouse, while described pretty vividly in Ephesians, isn't the premium type. Love for God and neighbor supercede the Eros variety. "He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing", sure. But it's something that is -- or ever has been -- truly necessary.

So if I had to choose (not saying that I ever will), I'd choose something I'd have more control over and that will statistically give me more happiness and fulfillment. Making sure I'm well taken care of outweighs being in love with someone who could potentially trample my heart into the ground.

JOSLYN said...

Andre,

In your original post, you didn't specify being "in-love" or just love period, hence the replies that you've received.

*thinks about how some people just sound bitter....NOT SAYING THAT THEY ARE...but they damn sure sound bitter..."

Joslyn said...

P.S.

Also, note: In Genesis, remember after all God's creations, he saw that they were good. The first thing in Genesis that wasn't good, was for man to be alone...hence Eve....

I'm just saying...

Greeneyes said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Greeneyes said...

Andre My KING,

who said anything about marriage , not all love has to lead to marriage! it does not make that love any less .!
The divorce ratio is harsh but not all end up that way , and isnt the ride worth it ?If you answer NO as I may suspect then you may not have truely felt what it is to be in love .And who is to say we only get the one LOVE of our lives ,people come into our lives for a reason ,every person.!
Money is fabulous , take care of your needs but it cannot please the heart , you want for more than just materialisitic desires or of the flesh , Love has no price and cannot be bought and what is a life worth without LOVE.
Taste it , totally without hesitation and overcasting hurt and no matter how long it last , it is worth it .
And I am with Joselyn!!!
"she is just sayin " LOL

LOVE :0)
Greeneyes

Joslyn said...

*High fives Green Eyes*

Andre said...

@ Jos:

"In your original post, you didn't specify being "in-love" or just love period, hence the replies that you've received."

I made the correction. Happy now?! *Tsk.

"*thinks about how some people just sound bitter....NOT SAYING THAT THEY ARE...but they damn sure sound bitter..."

Nothing like a little personal experience to wisen me up to the bullsh*t that's out there.

"Also, note: In Genesis, remember after all God's creations, he saw that they were good. The first thing in Genesis that wasn't good, was for man to be alone...hence Eve...."

Since Adam didn't have direct communication with the animals (unless he could interpret what "moo" meant), he was given a partner; a mate, a buddy. It just so happens that they were also formed as the first couple.

So, to answer your question/comment, I think I'm cool with the relationships with you, my fam, and friends. That whole dating/relationship thing is for suckas.

@ Greeny:

"who said anything about marriage , not all love has to lead to marriage! it does not make that love any less .!"

I didn't do a good job of clarifying. I meant the Eros love. Thanks for pointing that out.

"The divorce ratio is harsh but not all end up that way , and isnt the ride worth it ?"

For me, no.

"If you answer NO as I may suspect then you may not have truely felt what it is to be in love .And who is to say we only get the one LOVE of our lives ,people come into our lives for a reason ,every person.!"

Perhaps you're right. But I've never been a risk taker and; I'm sorry but strong emotional bonds with a significant other are the riskiest. If the "in love or money" dilemma presented itself before me, I'd prefer caution over risk and the unpredictability.

"Money is fabulous , take care of your needs but it cannot please the heart..."

Really? For me, a part of "heart pleasing" experience is knowing that a situation is under my control. Any possibility for failure would ONLY be a product of my own mishaps and because of arbitrary decisions made by somebody else. As for me and my house (which, I guess makes up just me): it's bad to base my happiness on what somebody else does. But I guess that's just me...

"Love has no price and cannot be bought"

Nor can it be earned or necessarily kept, despite your best efforts. It just..well...sorta happens. I don't like living on that type of edge and with that type of uncertainty.

"Taste it , totally without hesitation and overcasting hurt and no matter how long it last , it is worth it ."

'Taking one' for a much greater cause may win an Academy Award, but it most likely won't win you satisfaction. At least it won't for me.

By the way, I think I might have to separate you two.

Andre said...

By the way, Jos: You're the inspiration behind this one. It's not about you specifically (you know you're my girl). It just that the conversation you and I had over dinner about dating and relationships fuel most of my beliefs.

jOSLYN said...

Andre,

My choice to not be in a serious relationship (and being honest with those that I'm dating about that choice) should have no bearing about your conclusion about love! I've been in love too many times before and have had my heart broken. Doens't mean that love is over for me, it just means that I still have some refining to complete before God sends me a final mate. In that, I choose to HAVE FUN during that process (In the voice of Duff man) oh yeah!

Andre said...

Maybe I wasn't clear about how our conversation inspired this. The "too nice" discussion you and I had got me to thinking that a relationship could fail despite a person's BEST efforts. Since women don't make it a point to communicate what they want or what we men need to do in order to satisfy 'love's agenda', I say forget it. Give me a boat load of money that I can manage and I'll be happy. Playing silly guessing games with people you're in love with is pointless and insulting. I'd take the money and run instead.

Joslyn said...

Andre,

Funny reading this; you're one of the FEW men in America with your problem. Ever think that it could be internal with you?

I'm just asking...

KC said...

Daaaay-um!

*Thanking God that I'm not Andre right now*

Joanne said...

LOL!

Andre, I think it's ultimately most important not to become so callous about past experiences that you rule out the possibility of future success. Anybody who would choose money over love is gradually moving in the direction of callousness.

Joslyn said...

*Blushes and kicks a rock*

Aww KC, it wasn't that bad, was it?

Andre said...

@ Jos: "Ever think that it could be internal with you?"

Me? No.

@ KC: "Daaaay-um!"

Hater.

@ Joanne: I wouldn't call myself "callous". I'm cautious. At least more now than before.

You see, I've always expected relationships to fall into a simple equation. If x happens, then y would happen; "x" being the good stuff you bring into a relationship and "y" being a success with your mate. With relationships (at least mine), it was more like: If x happens, then t would happen; where "t" is some bizarre, painful, and confusing exception to rule which defies any logic or common sense (i.e. t = a breakup because you're accused of being "too nice" or "not jealous enough". I've heard both of these before from exes.). Simply put: success in a relationship was not the product of what I thought I was doing correctly. So if I had any "internal" issues, I'd have to say it was a na�ve habit of putting too much of myself in situations over which I had no control. The end result was me getting burned and writing bull**** posts like this. But, I'm done with that crap.

Funny. This post was meant to be funny and sarcastic. But it wound up being pretty liberating. Ahhhh!

There you have it. Analyze away...

The H.C. said...

Hey Dre,
I've chosen Love over money too many times to count and I have no regrets. First I married my wife instead of some of the other girls I was dating who's parents were far better off-no regrets. Then my wife stayed home and raised our kids instead of working, even though we never cleared more than $20,000 a year till my oldest was 10-no regrets. Then I gave up a better paying job for a lesser one because I couldn't take any vacations with my kids and had to work 60 hours-a-week-again, no regrets. Several times I've had opportunities to make money where the question was: spend time and effort on those I Love or go for the money. I've always chosen those I Love....I have no regrets, in fact those are some of the choices I'm the most proud of.

Andre said...

Dude, you call yourself a Hippie Conservative. By default, that makes you an anamoly. *Joking*

Andre said...

In all seriousness, I don't doubt that my relationship labeling may be somewhat of a misnomer for most folks. But it's not for me. In fact, I'd even go as far as to say that the time I've spent in relationships has probably made up some of the worst stints of my life. Though intentions were good I'm sure (both mine and theirs), the end results never were.

Give me some cold hard cash any day of the week.

The H.C. said...

Hey Dre,
That's a new spin on how people constantly ask me, "Isn't that an oxymoron?" I like being an anamoly much better than an oxymoron, so thanks.

The H.C. said...

Hey Dre,
You'll find that someone if you look in the right places and focus on someone who shares your values, I have faith. For another point of reference, one of my favorite poems:

Richard Corey

WHENEVER Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored, and imperially slim.

And he was always quietly arrayed, 5
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
"Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich—yes, richer than a king,
And admirably schooled in every grace: 10
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night, 15
Went home and put a bullet through his head.

Andre said...

@ HC: I remember reading this in junior high; along with good ole Mr. Scrooge. All the same, I was never convinced that being rich was all bad. Stories about men like this are told to people who try to reconcile being poor.

Bah, humbug...

Joslyn said...

You know,

Being rich is GREAT!

Just ask R.Kelly and Michael Jackson and Kobie Bryant and P-Diddy (who holds the record for paying the highest in child support in New York history)

:)

Rich people have problems? Naaaa

Greeneyes said...

Andre~ My KING


I am still with Joslyn!
And stand by my disected comment ,I guess y0u have your reasons for feeling the way you do ! Maybe as a rich man you will have your only hearts desire .
I think you are too wonderful to keep your heart closed but C'est la vive .
I know where you could find the woman of your dremas !!!!!!! she is your international PEN PAL
hehe......please laugh I cant stand it !
come on ,ya know ya wanna !!!!
S M I L E ....lifes short
HUGS
Greeneyes

Andre said...

@ Jos: All of those jokers you mentioned had "problems" that were self-inflicted and came because they notoriously flaunt themselves and their money around. Most of those peanutheads set themselves up for "problems".

As you being a former Atlantan (correct term?) probably know, many millionaire cats are walking around that you wouldn't even know about.

@ Greeny: As I said before, nothing like a little personal experience to shape a brotha's thinking. From that experience, I'm convinced that investing emotion and making yourself romantically vulnerable to another person is a recipe for disaster.

Greeneyes said...

Andre My KING,

Sniff sniff , no international Romance for me then HUH !!!

I would rather have tasted the sweetness of love and be trampled than harbour bitterness resisting it `
~Me~

Take away love and our earth is a tomb.
~Robert Browning~

Andre said...

"I would rather have tasted the sweetness of love and be trampled than harbour bitterness resisting it."

Ah! The ole "'tis better to have loved and lost..." line. Let's look at it this way: "'tis better to have bungie jumped, crash to the ground, and broken every bone in your body, than to have just kept yourself on the ground."