Where Hillary tanked

As Hill-Spawn delivered what should have been a concession speech, I couldn’t help but notice the defeated looks on both Chelsea and especially Bill’s face after a long and drawn out fight with Sen. Obama. In an attempt to salvage any remaining dignity from the loss, they and many of Hill’s supporters have tried repeatedly to accentuate the positive aspects of her campaign. But as for me and my house, I see the Clinton run for president exactly how it should be viewed: a complete and utter failure.

The way I see: Hill Spawn made several major mistakes during this primary season. Hopefully, the Obama camp can take their cue from Hill’s screw-ups and perform better in the General Election. Without further ado, here’s how I think Hill Spawn lost this election:

Employing the incumbent strategy
I’ve heard quite a few people cite this mishap of the Hill Spawn. I’d be far pressed to disagree. While Obama strategically took the mandate we gave politicians during the 2006 election and formulated a campaign promoting change, Hill relied too much on “experience” and the Clinton brand for validation. I suppose that if she wanted people to look past her being female, using the legacy-based Affirmative Action would make sense (had to toss that in for the folks who think that Affirmative Action only applies to race). Unfortunately for her, it didn’t work. While she spent her time getting fitted for the crown that ostensibly comes with being a Clinton, she ignored people’s desire to change the channel on Washington insiders. Don’t get me wrong: her name and background were/are formidable weapons to wield. But just like any other weapons, the key is to know how and when to use them. She flunked that part of the exam.

Drawing too many cards at once
Allowing Geraldine Ferraro to stir up racial discussions, looking the other way as Uncle Bob Johnson made his subtle inferences, not putting Bill in the doghouse for his antics (i.e. juxtaposing Obama to Jesse Jackson), not checking her “researchers” who raised the madrasah question. These are prime examples (though just a small sample) of the cheap and subtle shots involving race and religion that eventually spelled Hill’s doom. While Obama attempted to rise above those issues, Hill and her surrogates drew from that well way too often. To make matters worse, Hill also played the role of the gendered Jekyll & Hyde during this campaign. At the outset, she played the tough guy act – drinkin’ beer with the fellas and shootin’ guns with Rufus and ‘em. But when things went south for her, sexism was the first word that came out of her mouth. In fact, during a couple of debates, the self-professed “strongest candidate” got her panties in a bunch (no pun intended) when she had to answer first. Egad! If Clinton playing the race, religion, and fear cards didn’t work, pulling the gender Queen of Hearts did the trick.

Playing on a lousy team

As great as he was, Michael Jordan didn’t become a winner until he had a solid supporting cast. Hill Spawn’s campaign team – who essentially lost this for her -- was one of the worst to ever assemble. It’s amazing that she got as far as she did with the horrible cast of characters pushing for her. For instance, there are reports indicating that one of Hill’s strategists was unaware that the Democratic primaries did not follow the same winner-take-all format as the Republicans use. I’m not entirely sure on just how true that is, but relying solely on the swing states to pitch the argument of electability is a strategy that only a complete moron would endorse. Yet that’s exactly what Hill Spawn and her folks did.

I won’t even bother picking on her surrogates any more. I think that point has already been driven home.

[Not] Showin’ us the money

If arranging her campaign team was bad, arranging the campaign’s fundraising efforts was atrocious. While she was able to collect an impressive amount of money from her donors, campaign finance laws only allow donors to contribute so much money. For most of Hill's big-check donors, it was a one-time deal. Obama – on the other hand – relied on Al Gore’s Internet to generate funds (OK, the Al Gore line was a little uncalled for. I'm sorry...). While he took advantage of millions of people making much smaller donations to fund his campaign, Hill Spawn -- to her disadvantage -- rested on the laurels of being a Clinton and relied on her smaller pool of large donors (and perhaps some of Slick Willy’s questionable business connections…?). When she ran out of dough, she had to draw from her own stash. And she had the nerve to call Obama an elitist…

Discounting caucus states
Every time I hear Hill Spawn drone on and on about winning the popular vote, making every vote count, etc, I get a chuckle. When she refers to the number of votes she received, she does exactly what she did during the primary season that sealed her doom: discount the caucus states. Yet, it was those very caucus states that Hill ignored where Obama secured many of his pledged delegates.

No stamina for the later rounds

To steal an analogy from the Hippie Conservative, Obama was to Hillary what Leon Spinks was to Muhammed Ali. Hill went into this contest thinking that she was going to steam roll the field in Iowa and set it in cruise control until November. I suppose you can't fault her for that. Most of the world was complicit in Hill's coronation. But exhausting so much of her energy and funds in the first round -- only to fall third in line -- was a major blow. By the time she was able to recover, some little known freshman Senator from Illinois was building up tons of momentum. Even more interesting was the amount of future preparation the Obama camp made in states weeks (and in some cases, months) in advance. Though the idea to plan ahead may have appeared as a detriment at the time, Obama made the most of it while Hill was crushed for not doing the same.

There you have it: my thoughts on how Hill pulled the ultimate Leon Lett-type fumble. But -- in Lett's defense, at least he got to the end zone before he lost the ball. By the time Hill even made it to the end zone, Obama was already there waiting. So let this be a lesson to anyone ever planning on running for office. If you every feel the need to say “Full speed ahead to the White House..." , maybe you should check for icebergs.

-ACL