Thursday, April 05, 2007

GOP language


For anyone who finds it difficult to translate some of the GOP's political language, please consider this a guide on how to interpret what they say and what they mean:

What they say: "Girly men" (a phrase coined by Gov-ee-na Ah-nold)
What they mean: All grown men who don't grope women are punks.

What they say: "We're being honest."
What they mean: "We're telling lies or being delusional; but we do so by using declarative statements." For example, 'We'll be treated like liberators' and 'Victory is on the march'.

What they say: "Stay the course"
What they mean: "Let's keeping doing the same crazy shit over and over again; even if it's clearly not working."

What they say: "You're being an alarmist"
What they mean: "So what you've got all that fancy-shmancy science to prove your point. We've got God.

What they say : "We need to teach abstinence"
What they mean: "Ignore the reality that youth really are having sex."

What they say: "We're pro-life."
What they mean: "We're pro-life up until the person is born. At that point, they're on their own."

What they say: "We value our environment."
What they mean: "We value the areas where we allow corporations to dump their waste."

What they say: "God is on our side."
What they mean: "God is our senior presidential advisor."

What they say: "Let me clarify something."
What they mean: "Let me keep reusing the same lie and/or delusion over and over again."

What they say: "We're experiencing job growth."
What they mean: "Americans are now working two and three jobs to make up for losing their good paying jobs to India."

What they say: "We don't support junk science."
What they mean: "We don't support any theory based on data, research, experimentation and rigorous testing that interferes with corporate profitability. What we do support is religious text."

What they say: "We will not tolerate incompetence."
What they mean: "Except if it comes from our President or anybody his administration. We'll support them through and through.

What they say: "God Bless America."
What they mean: "And only America (and maybe England)."

- ACL

7 "Insiders" spoke their mind. Join in...:

The H.C. said...

Hey Andre,
Am I detecting a little disappointment in our people to the right of center? Surely your not suprised that politicians lie. The problem with all of politics is there's no place for honesty. If I tell you the truth, that people are reaching old age at a rate that exceeds what the current FICA tax structure will allow for example, and my opponent claims he can fix it without cutting benefits or raising taxes even though he knows that's a damn lie, most people will vote for him. We don't want the truth. We want to hear what we want to hear. That we can fix all the problems without pain or any effort by our selves. Despite what Hollywood want us to believe about an honest man coming into office and being a hero, the truth is; politics is no place for honesty. Truth is bound by the facts...lies are not. Usually we elect the person who lies the best, and gets caught in their lies the least.

HeiressChild said...

hi andre, i was just talking about you on my blog. there's an award waiting for you there.

kim said...

ooooh Andre! you said "sh*t"

Will Luongo said...

Let me make sure I understand: When Democrats say these things we can take them at face value?

Or is that the next installment?

Perez said...

When do we get to hear the bull shit lies democrats say? Please say soon. It is all about being elected and nothing else. It is like someone I don't know and never seen in my life saying 'I love you'. Now I know that is a lie and I need to be on the look out. No I'm not crazy. Any ways that was interesting and kinda funny.

Andre said...

@ HC: I think you know about my disdain with the GOP already. And to think, I once wanted to drink their Kool-Aid.

But, you're right in saying that this goes beyond Democrats and Republicans. Politicians, in general, are evil. There is a seduction that comes with political power. Much like Tolkien's Ring of Power, politics is a weapon that can be used with the best of intentions. But ultimately it seduces and then corrupts people.

@ Heiress: I've got an award?! Wow! I'm excited. Thank you!

But let me finish strolling down the red carpet in my ruby-red laced Oscar de la Renta gown first.

@ Kim: Will you answer your phone already? Shit.

@ Will and Perez: You know me well enough to know that I don't let the Dems off the hook. They're a close second in command when it comes down to the villainy.

KC said...

I agree with HC. Is it really a suprise to see crooks in the political arena. Talk about a newsflash!