Sunday, January 15, 2006

Shaping our destiny

Have you ever played a part in shaping someone else's destiny without really knowing it? I suppose that we all have at one point or another. A conversation with a friend helped me to identify one of those times:

Meet Agent "J". J is a really good friend of mine. In fact, I really consider her a role model. I'm truly in love with her story. I'm gonna digress for a moment here, if you don't mind. Please, bear with me for a second:

J came from a pretty affluent family. But, tired of living off of her parents and wanting to be viewed as an adult, she transfered to Northwestern University at the ripe age of 19. She moved away from her family, her friends, and -- essentially -- everything she knew. With about $300 to her name and living out of hotels, she eventually got into Northwestern and made her mark there. She managed to pick up a good job at Pfizer and worked her way through school; graduating 11th in her class. From there, she took a job in L.A., where she was accepted into UCLA for graduate school. It was there where she met her boyfriend, turned fiance', turned husband. Together she and her husband, a sports doctor ($$$), just purchased a gorgeous home.

In a matter of six years, she's gone from being a spoiled 'daddy's girl', to being a poor and struggling college student, to being a successful and accomplished woman. Riches to rags, and back to riches. On top of that, you can now add future mother to her resume'. I tell you: I couldn't write a book this good.

Now getting back on track...

In a recent conversation, J gave me the news about her pregnancy. I went on to tell her how extremely proud I was (while being secretly envious) of her and all of her accomplishments. Of course, she blew it all off (I neglected to mention how incredibly humble she is; one of the things I love most about her). In response, she went on to say something pretty enigmatic to me -- at least it was at first. She said:

"I wouldn't been in this situation if you and I were together."

Now, just to clarify: her comment wasn't as heartless as it sounds. To put her statement into the right context, let me mention that, prior to that, I asked her if she ever thought about what would've happened if she and I had gotten together. That's when she made that remark. From my understanding of her response and her tone, she was merely pointing out that she wouldn't be in the situation that she's in right now; had she been with me. She never said whether her position would be better or worse. So, in that respect, I totally agree.

At one point in our relationship, we grew pretty close. Though we hadn't offically become a 'couple' we were just short of it. But eventually I made the decision to cut it off with her so that I could pursue another girl. Essentially, I flaked her for someone else. As a brush of irony, the person who I flaked J for wound up flaking me for somebody else! How's that for a kick in the eye!

Well, as it stands, J is doing extremely well; career, family, and otherwise. I'm not doing too badly, though there are some serious voids in my life which, for the most part, don't seem to have hope of being filled any time soon. Voids like this make me wonder: what if I had taken the other road down destiny's path? What if my heart convinced me to go the other way?

What if?


2 "Insiders" spoke their mind. Join in...:

Anonymous said...

Nice, but sad at the same time...

ellena said...

It's a difficult situation to assess. Nobody can ever tell where a road takes them until they've arrived where they were headed. Even then, there are the "what ifs". Don't be too hard on yourself. There's no way for you to tell if things between you and "Jennifer" would have been any better or any worse.