Thursday, September 22, 2005

Indian summer

Well, summer's officially gone. This season has definitely been one of enlightment for me. After spending months questioning myself and my views on other people (particularly those with whom I've had emotion investment), I've come to accept that there comes a point where faith in them just won't come naturally.

I'm starting to recognize the different levels of friendships that I have as well as when their seasons have ended; although it's hard to do at times. I always seem to want more or less from each of my relationships; only to wind up disappointed if they don't turn out the way I want. I suppose that I need to set my expectation of people at least one notch higher than their track record. That way, I won't be suprised or hurt if their "old self" resurfaces. This must be the type of thinking that develops when a person gets hurt over and over.

Don't get me wrong: I don't think that people hurt me intentionally; but they have done so nonetheless. While I think it's healthy - and Christ like- to forgive, I won't put myself in a position to be hurt by the same people time and time again. I see no purpose in that.


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JJ said...

That was pretty deep. Sounds like you've had some pretty bad relationships. Well, stay encouraged.