Sunday, February 17, 2008

Stop in the name of love. Or just stop, PERIOD...?

I'm gonna take a brief intermission from the more serious topics that have come to shape this blog; and zero in on something a little more personal and maybe not as serious. Fellas I'm looking for your input particularly. But ladies, feel free to chime in as well. Your feedback is most welcomed.

Have you ever had the nagging feeling that somebody for whom you kinda sorta had a thing was deliberately avoiding you? If so, what (if anything) did you do about it?


Go.

-ACL

19 "Insiders" spoke their mind. Join in...:

KC said...

Well, my friend: if it feels like she's avoiding you, it's probably because SHE IS avoiding you! Sorry.

But at least this is an open and shut case.

Saved Sinner said...

I'm not as certain as KC seems to be, mostly because women are the kings (yes, KINGS) of sending mixed messages. My wife turned me down and "avoided" me at least five times before we finally dated. It's really hard to tell.

My advice to you would be to lay low for a while. If she's interested, let her come to you.

GA girl said...

If your issue is that plans you make with her never seem to materialize, it REALLY could be that she's just busy. Then again, if she's not offering any alternatives (like different dates/times) she may just be uninterested; while trying to be nice about it.

I prefer being direct with a guy, but I know some women who either don't want to hurt a man's feelings/damage his ego or like being pursued by a guy even if they don't have interest in him. Trust me. I've seen it happen.

Cynthia said...

Before I got married, I avoided most men here in Atlanta because they all had curls and gold teeth. Can't be mad at me, right? LOL!

Cynthia said...

Also, I have to agree with one of the possibilities GA girl presented. If I were interested enough in a guy, I'd make time for him. Anything short of that can usually be chalked up to her not being interested.

Don't kill the messenger, my boy.

heiresschild said...

remember that friend you stopped seeing, but her friend was calling you for advice (yeah, right!) and you didn't want to deal with her anymore, and never returned her phone calls, and we all gave you advice on how to handle it, and you kept avoiding it? maybe this is payback???!!!

as Cynthia said, "don't kill the messenger." (smile!)

Greeneyes said...

My Greeneyed Handsome King ,

Why didn't you just tell me!!!!!ROTFLMBO Tee hee .

Sorry to say I laughed at Heiress's comment ,Payback is a ,well a jagged pill!
(DUCKING)

Shall I play both sides , Hmmmm lets see (rubbing hands together,)she could be like yourself and have her head buried in work and not realize you want more,or very shy and not get your courting postures LOL;0) or call/messages. Relax and come out with it and ask her out see what unravels.:)

or


SHES JUST NOT INTO YOU! how that could be, I will never understand but 1 in a million I guess .If it is worth it to you to find out ,take the gamble,
Play your cards ask her out plain and simple then you'll know.

Sometimes peoples lives get messy and you know this person somewhat,you may be getting a brush off feeling due to a busy life .If not
Whats the worst that can happen,she declines (Silly woman, her loss)


Greeneyes

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

The practical approach works for me. I'd openly tell her that I would like to ask her out and to develop the friendship but sense that she may have some "concerns" and "issues" and offer to meet over coffee to discuss them. Mention that if she is not interested in the relationship that you would respect that. Then get ready for the worst and hope for the best but at least time is not wasted.

Andre said...

@ Cyn, GA girl, Sylvia, and Greeny:
Oh, who asked you?!

Andre said:

"But ladies, feel free to chime in as well. Your feedback is most welcomed.
"

Oh.

*Whistles and eases out of the room*

You know who from the NYC said...

Sigh!

Andre, Andre, Andre...do you EVER learn?!

I suspect that -- much like the lame ass in the picture -- you're probably forcing yourself on the poor girl too aggressively. Knowing you personally, I can say that you have a tendency to jump the gun. This doesn't have to be an all or nothing endeavor. Just take it slowly.

Sigh. Men...

Greeneyes said...

yes you need to back out slowly ,your within striking distance!!!!!!
;-0


Greeneyes

Anonymous said...

Hola, Joslyn again (don't feel like signing in)

Anywho, it's hard for nice girls to tell guys that they're not interested. While not the best way, this may be her way of saying just that. I gotta agree with saved sinner and say for you to let her make the next move. You never know what's going on in that head of hers.

:)

The H.C. said...

Hey Dre,
Maybe the reason she's suddenly avoiding you is in the last word of your question.

*OW!! Someone just hit me with something*

Andre said...

NYC: I'll have you to know that it's been the exact opposite with this one. My attempts at sociability have been pretty generously stretched out. I mean, I'm not trying to make things happen every day; or even every week. In fact, I've been more sporadic than anything. So, no: I'm not being too agressive here.

Hater.

@ Greeny: It's not very often that I'll admit when I've put my foot in my mouth; so I can't hate on my female readers for striking while the iron is hot. But just don't get used to it. It won't happen again anytime soon. :)

@ Jos: "...it's hard for nice girls to tell guys that they're not interested."

Funny. I thought that a large part of the whole 'being nice' thing is being upfront.

Then again, maybe she really IS being upfront and I'm the one doing all the second guessing.

@ Saved & Jos: This girl doesn't really come across as a "making the move" kind of person. In fact, she gave me the "I'm down for whatever" line; leading me to believe that I should be the one to get the ball rolling. My attempts to do so have been rejected.

@ Hippie (and my female readers):

"Maybe the reason she's suddenly avoiding you is in the last word of your question."

HE said that. Not me!

heiresschild said...

that was me HC! my aim is better than i thought. (smiling)

Greeneyes said...

THY KING!

I know it is really cold this time of year but has Hell has frozen over!?!?!WOW I must make mention of this date in my memoirs ,
(snickering quietly ,loving it)



Greeneyes

The H.C. said...

Hey Heiress,
Nice arm! I think you missed your calling as a pitcher.

Andre said...

@ Sylvia: Dag. Remind me to stay on your good side.

@ Greeny: "I know it is really cold this time of year but has Hell has frozen over!?!?!WOW I must make mention of this date in my memoirs ,
(snickering quietly ,loving it)
"

Hater.

@ Hippie: ""Hey Heiress,
Nice arm! I think you missed your calling as a pitcher.
"

Sylvia's not pumped with human growth hormones, like some guys I know. So I'm not sure how good of a pitcher she'd be.

heiresschild said...

i used to be real good at baseball & softball, and that was without the human growth hormones, thankyouverymuch!