If you pay any attention to the links that I include on my blog, you'll see that I recently created a Myspace profile. I admit, it’s been sort of adventurous. But – in the interest of being my usual critical self – I’ve identified some major issues I have with the site. Here’s what bothers me about Myspace.com so far:
1. Nine times out of ten, I wind up on a page that takes an hour to load. This is coming from somebody who uses a high speed internet connection. I feel bad for the cats who still use dialup (incidentally, they’re probably the same folks who ride chariots to school). I guess some people haven’t figured out that the more crap you add to your page, the longer it takes to load.
2. Brothas always feel the need to put up images of their oily, muscular bodies. I mean, damn dawg. For real?! Dude, there are kids on here. Put those away. Then again, maybe I’m just jealous because trying to be intelligent and nice seems to take a backseat to being physically good looking. It doesn’t help that whatever 6-pack I’ve ever had is now a cooler.
3. Oppositely, a lot of sistas like to put up photos where they’re bent over with skin tight clothes showing just about everything they’ve got and tops that are hanging on for deal life. Then, they say (get this): “I’m lookin’ 4 a real man who can handle a real woman.” Well if your appearance is any indication, I hear that A Pimp Named Slickback is hiring.
4. Everybody insists on “showin’ you luv”. Is that the only line people can come up with?!
5. Having fun toys like pictures/slide shows, video clips, and music is pretty cool. Having too much of them isn’t. But, I have to admit: Facebook is the King of being superfluous and over-the-top with all of those silly applications.
6. People, please. If you’re over 35, you ain’t got NO BUSINESS posting photos at the club behind a spray painted background. I’m just sayin’…
7. Also, for the aforementioned group, please stop calling yourself “SeXy MoMmA”, BoOtYLicIious”, or anything equivalent.
8. I’ve never been on a site where phishing and spam were so rampant. Well, maybe on Blackplanet. But you get the point.
9. I imagine that most Myspacers aren’t too HTML or Java proficient. You kinda get that feeling when you’re looking at their impossible-to-read pages.
10. Even some of the more HTML savvy people must’ve at least missed the lecture on good to semi-good grammar. Trust me when I say that punctuation helps. Spelling words correctly helps. No, it doesn’t have to be at the dissertation level, but c’mon people. Get a clue.
11. It bothers me to imagine how much $$$ that Tom guy has.
12. I didn’t know that there were so many 100 year olds in cyberspace. Then again, I guess that’s a pretty good balance to the hoards of underaged teenagers on the site.
13. With the proliferation of teenagers on the site, the privacy settings are pretty good to have, I guess. But in some cases it’s just getting too out of hand. I mean, for some folks you have to get their approval just to say hello. Sheesh!
14. It’s pretty cool to reunite with folks. But in many instances, my conversations with them remind me about why I stayed away in the first place.
15. Am I the only one who hates chain letters, graphic designs, and symbols (asterisks in the shape of a heart, middle fingers, crosses, etc)?
16. On a related note, what’s up with the insanely large and blindly-colorful images people put in your comment section just so they can say “Hi”?!
17. I’ve noticed a lot of the same pictures circulating on various profiles. This leads me to believe that a bunch of folks feel the need to submit fake or stolen pictures. People...look: if you’re that self-conscious about yourself maybe you shouldn’t be putting up a profile in the first place.
18. Believe it or not, people will actually get offended if you don’t add them to your top friends list.
19. Speaking of which (sorta): I always think it’s funny how Friends Lists create the illusion that you have more friends than you actually have. Maybe if the term was changed to “Subscribers” it wouldn’t be so deceptive.
20. Finally, anybody over 21 would be better served just starting a blog.
All the same, Myspace isn’t all that bad either. With close to 200 million profiles created up to this point, it must be doing something right. For me, it's been a pretty cool outlet to catch up with people I haven't seen or spoke to in a second while also meeting other interesting folks. I guess my whole thing is: if you can realize that at the end of the day this is all just fun and entertainment you should be OK.
But in the event that you ever get bored with Myspace, start blog! It's pretty rewarding.