Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Advice to the President

From Bill Maher:

"Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you any more. There's no more money to spend--you used up all of that. You can't start another war because you used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people. Listen to your mom. The cupboard's bare, the credit card's maxed out. No one's speaking to you.

Mission accomplished.

Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service and the oil company and the baseball team. It's time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or space man? Now I know what you're saying: there's so many other things that you as President could involve yourself in. Please don't. I know, I know. There's a lot left to do. There's a war with Venezuela. Eliminating the sales tax on yachts. Turning the space program over to the church and Social Security to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote.

But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. You've performed so poorly I'm surprised that you haven't given yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a man. Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire city to rising water and snakes.

On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky. I'm not saying you don't love this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side.

So, yes, God does speak to you. What he is saying is: 'Take a hint.' "

That about sums it up.


5 "Insiders" spoke their mind. Join in...:

Saved sinner said...

Personally, I was never a fan of Bill Maher. I think he's shallow and smug, especially when it comes to his views on religion and spirituality. He tends to cateogize all religious people in the same group as the fanatical nuts out there.

But even I have to admit that this was funny.

Joslyn said...


The H.C. said...

Hey Dre,
I'm not a fan of Mr. Maher. But I have to concede he has a point, in fact, several of them. A lot of people think Bill's a cool old guy. But I guess that depends on whether he's leering at your sister or daughter. Frankly, I find him creepy. Also, here's another Liberal who wants to rebuild New Orleans but strangely also believes Global Warming will kill everyone on a flood plain. ReNew Orleans.......Somewhere else.

ajbendaƱa said...

I feel that me posting this is wrong but I just cant get it out of my head. How many people do you know voted for bush solely on the fact that he was anit-abortion. While it is a very serious and important issue, I still feel we would have been better off with Captin Global Warming. I also think that Dubaya did not manage to slow down let alone stop women from going through with it.

It all comes down to this. Elect a guy just on the fact that he says he is anti-abortion and in retro spect make this country worse for the poor kids he might save that are already in a bad situation. Or actually vote for the person who has the best overall package.

I dont know what triggered this rank but its to late to not post it. I guess it was my mom since thats exactly what she did and now she is regrets it.

I am not pro abrortion for those who might think that. I just feel that there are other very important issues we need to look at and address when we are in the process of electing our countries leader.

I think I am gona write a blog post all about this subject untill I get it of my chest. whew!!!!

Andre said...

@ saved: I actually like Bill Maher. I think he has the type of cutting edge that is needed in a society where most people have become pretty callous to what's going on in Washington. It's refreshing.

@ Joslyn: You'll have to explain what type of *snicker* that was. Knowing you, it could have been one of a hundred different things.

@ HC: Being one of the cats who thinks he's a "cool old guy", I actually agree with lots of things he advocates. At the very least, I appreciate his willingness to vocalize his ideas (adding humor and sarcasm is his biggest seller). Nothing 'creepy' about him to me.

I do, however, argee with your point about restoring New Orleans some place else. But, I don't think you'll be successful at pitching that idea to people who are still convinced that the Louisiana Purchase was the best land bargain in history. Ironic s**t, huh?

@ ajbendaƱa: Feel free to rant away. Anything discussion about the crowned "Worst U.S. President in History" is likely to incite anger, frustration, and criticism. It would be unpatriotic NOT to call Bush out on his stupidity and ineptitude.